Where do I stand

[Littlelamb40]

Okay ladies
I've had 8 dates with the same guy I met online. Going really well, I stay over his house make myself a cup of tea at his etc..all the nice things
Slept together on the 4th date (which was amazing)
Met his friends, been to his work etc.
When does this become exclusive? How do I approach the subject? I did kind of bring it up and he said he's happy to keep seeing other and see where each date takes us.
I'm 41 and he's 47.
I'm in limbo and don't want to rock the boat.
Any ideas? Xx

You seem too ready to accept 24 hours to reply to your messages. I think most people would have ducked out for that reason alone. You've also not me often give he's local, chances are he is spending lots of time elsewhere. Think you'd be better off dropping this, and never accept a regular 24 hour reply rate, that's not showing any enthusiasm or effort from the start by him.

'met often'

I'm going to go against the grain here, I'm your age and was married from 21 - 36. when I met my now fiance I was 39, he was 43. He, like me, hadn't dated for 20 years so we both knew nothing of the way things worked with having 'the chat' etc!!!! I mean we discussed the future etc but the relationship just naturally happened. Therefore I'd say hang fire on walking out, he might just be out of touch with how things are in the dating world now.
I do agree though that if you're comfortable sleeping with him you should be able to talk to him.

He lives 5 min drive away and works very local. I know sometimes he works 7 days a week. Sometimes 5 days a week.

Sometimes it takes a day to actually read my messages. He must be popular or seeing someone else! The whole situation is driving me bananas.

It shouldn’t be this hard.

Do you ever go out on dates with him OP? it does sound a bit like he's in it for the sex I'm afraid.

i'd want chat in between dates, and actual proper dates at this stage in a relationship. and actually when they're keen on you, you just know

You're just waiting for his crumbs and it sounds a bit crap tbh.

We have been for coffee, walks on the coast, cinema with his friends and their partners, and been to his friends house for drinks. Xx

I went out with someone like this in my first relationship after divorce. I did have the exclusivity chat with him (and it was fine) but the rest sounds very similar. It made me too stressed waiting for him to respond or to suggest dates. I walked in the end.

I've since had relationships where it's much easier. No stress. It's just too stressful and it's meant to be fun. But only you know whether you can put up with it.

he takes 24 hours to respond to a text....

Yes 24 hours or more to read a WhatsApp. Can he be that busy with other ladies?

OP - you don’t need to date anyone who makes you unhappy. This relationship seems to do that.
And it’s hard to tell if it’s him or your relative inexperience with dating.
Other than long lead time in text responses - everything else seems normal early dating behaviour.
But again - if it doesn’t make you happy - you shouldn’t be doing it. Early phase in a relationship shouldn’t be hard work.
Dating these days takes thick skin and an element of not caring too much too early.

And it’s probably better to continue dating other people before you take yourself off the market

Yes 24 hours or more to read a WhatsApp

Is he a Diver ? and can't access his phone I agree it's a strange one...

Finally had a message from which confirmed my fears. He said he not looking for a long term or commitment and not ready!So why did his online status says he's wants a relationship. He said he's removing himself from the site will he's ready. I'm not surprised really. I'm upset. X

@littlelamb I think gut instincts are normally correct, even though we try and brush them aside. Come and join us on the OLD thread, it's very helpful in helping to weed out bad behaviour, and getting other's opinions.

I'm so sorry OP...