NC.
14 years with exh. He left when ds 18 mo following me suffering PND. After 2 years separation I got the ball rolling with divorce which came through 2012. We are now 8 years later. I've had 2 relationships since. 1st one following divorce abusive, thankfully I got out of that one. 2nd one, not much better. Met a lovely man 2018 but short lived. I havent touched relationships since. I am still the the family home. Exh moved on years ago but I think I'm living a life where he is still my 'base' not in reality of course but in myself. I really hope that makes sense? We only communicate via messages, he was my best friend. Occasionally, I'll look out of the window when he picks up ds and still think he could be the one. It's never going to be. He used to put me down but I put him right up there on a pedestal. I dont know what to do. I feel lost and I've been doing it alone for 10.5 years now. I've previously had counselling. Any advice? I don't feel like this is normal. I'm mid 40s if that makes a difference.