When do you tell a date you have kids?

[keysonthehighshelf]

On tinder? If you met on a night out? Etc. Asking for a friend (genuinely! 😁)

In the convo when you get to know each other.. so first day or so.

I met now dh in a bar. I was with adult dd and introduced them. Them told him about the rest.

Married 5 years this summer.
Imo the first date he should know.

I agree btw. First date.

OLD I always told them in the pre date messaging

You ask them if they have kids.
They'll then ask you - you say "I have x# of boy/girl.

Done.

I would want to know immediately when starting to chat. I’m not ready for kids so I wouldn’t want to date someone who has them and Id be pretty put out if it got to the point of going on a date and I didn’t know - it’s a big deal.

I get annoyed when guys don't make it explicit in their bio that they have kids. I'd be really pissed off of a guy waited until a date to tell me. It's an important piece of info, more so than height!

I put it in my bio that I have a child. That way people know what the deal is right from the get go.

I have 4 so I tell Asap and give them a chance to run for the hills as early as possible. Best to be up front and if it’s not something a guy wants then I’d rather know sooner than later

In the messaging before the first date. I don't put it in my bio for safety reasons, but I bring it up early on in the chat

I agree it should definetly 100% be in your about me bio, if not definitely before meeting up, for someone who does not have kids to dating someone who does is a massive big deal, myself and I'm sure alot of others to would like to date people without kids and go through that stage in life together

In the bio. And it’s not necessarily just about people who don’t have kids, I have kids and I wouldn’t date someone who had kids.

I massively disagree with putting your kids in your bio. I would say it's a first date topic

I would say it's a first date topic.

I don’t want to go on a date with somebody who has kids because it’s a waste of my time and theirs. If you don’t want to put it in your bio then you need to let them know within the first few messages.

Before meeting, not on the first date. And don’t do what my ex does and lies about having kids! I would want to know before meeting otherwise it’s a waste of my time. I don’t want to date a man with kids.

Whether someone has kids or not is a big deal to most people. I think someone ought to mention it before meeting up. If I was someone who didn't want a boyfriend who had children and a guy showed up on a date and told me he had a couple of kids I'd feel annoyed and that it was something significant enough it ought to have been mentioned beforehand. It's like if you met a guy for a date and he said "oh by the way I live in another country" you'd be thinking what the hell, you should have told me something like that beforehand

I always put that I don't have any and wouldn't be interested in dating someone with dependant children.

You would be amazed how many men contacted me and tried to tell me their kids were different to any other kid in the universe and to "wait until I meet them and I would fall in love with them"!! Nope. Not going to happen.

I would be very annoyed if it was brought up at first date. I would likely walk out at that point.

On the other hand, I would not put it in my bio if I had them. Sometimes it's just not a safe thing to do at all (experience in this area...).

As soon as you start chatting. If already having kids is a deal breaker I wouldn't want to waste my energy getting to know them.

Exactly, @littlejets!

@fionasox if a guy did his I'd report them for bad offline behaviour.

Before the first date.

Before the first date. It’s then up to them if they want to continue, not everyone wants to date people with children.

Tbh with last guy said it around the 3rd date. This was about a couple weeks in. I was a bit nervous to tell him as i know for some guys its a turn off so i didnt really know what to expect. Kinda just wanted him to get to know me first before just dismissing (in case it is something he was unsure about). He was fine about it. I guess its upto you when you say it. Ive had guys ask about it before meeting up for the 1st time and in those cases i will say 'yes i do etc'. Other wise though i think as long as you say it somewhere in the early stage.

Id tell in first date or if it comes up on chats. There is more risk of being targeted for being a single mum than a single dad so its riskier for women to put that in bio.
If it matters to you ask before you meet him.. kinda like asking about height up front.
I think its irrelevant on tinder to know up front if they have kids, its tinder ffs!

Pre first date. It’s important that those who don’t want kids / the complications of dating someone with kids know before they waste their time.

It would be one of the first questions I would ask as I don't have any, way more important than height or even their name