Projection is perception. The guilt and shame about your actions are being projected into rage and blame. It's much easier to blame others than blame yourself.
However, you have an insight of yourself-otherwise you wouldn't be writing about this in this forum. That's a positive step. I would recommend the book "the shadow effect" though it is a little god-centric in places. It has helped me immeasurably alongside therapy.
I also like this poem by Rumi. Every so often humans make mistakes that they bury inside them due to the shame, the problem is these things will never go away, they will only be projected in other behaviours-as, I believe you are experiencing now.
"This being human is a guest house.
Every morning a new arrival.
A joy, a depression, a meanness,
some momentary awareness comes
as an unexpected visitor.
Welcome and entertain them all!
Even if they’re a crowd of sorrows,
who violently sweep your house
empty of its furniture,
still, treat each guest honorably.
He may be clearing you out
for some new delight.
The dark thought, the shame, the malice,
meet them at the door laughing,
and invite them in.
Be grateful for whoever comes,
because each has been sent
as a guide from beyond."
Rumi.