My babies dad has been leading a double life!

[MammaToBe2019]

This is a long one so please bare with.
The father of my son and i have been on and off for 13 years, he has 2 older children which he had in those years when we weren't together. We had a baby last July but he wasn't there, he disappeared, quit his job, moved town etc and didn't show up until October when our baby was 13 weeks old. When he got back in contact i asked if he was seeing anyone, he told me no, he was single and he hates being single, hes living out of his car at work etc So he starts staying at mine every weekend, seeing our son and sleeping in my bed. I then find out today, he has a very pregnant girlfriend in the town he moved to in July that he got pregnant straight away in July and he has been with her since last May!! She knew nothing about our baby! He had been lying to us both! He has also been meeting up and sleeping with another girl too! I messaged him and went mad as i had asked him countless times if he was seeing anyone else and he told me no over and over again. Now i feel stupid and lost and crushed tbh He has been living with this girl and her other child, raising another mans child whilst he was ignoring his own and now has another baby on the way! My emotions are all over the place. I'm not sure what the purpose of me writing on here is if im honest, i just needed to rant a little 😢

if i stop him i know he will go around making me out to be the bad guy
So what?

it was always more important for me for him to be involved with our son
Are you fucking insane? That's the role model you are encouraging for your son? My arse that's true. You want to be able to pretend the dad is a good bloke really and he is still on the scene because it makes you feel less stupid. Don't sacrifice your sanity and your son's moral compass to fake paternal love.

I wouldn't stop contact as sadly my 6 month old son absolutely adores him

Did your 6 month old Son tell you this ? y

BLOCK the Twat...

Call his bluff and go through CSA. If he wants to quit a decent job with development opportunities in favour of something cash in hand, let him cut off his nose to spite his face. I doubt he will.

He does pay me every month without fail the amount we agreed on. That part isn't really the issue. He isn't really an issue now either as he is not having anything to do with our little boy, his choice. His number has been blocked and deleted. Thanks everyone :)

Good on you OP.. you do what is right for you and your child.

He sounds like a shabby fucking article. All those lies. All the families.

Your son might adore him but he'd adore anybody who showed him attention.

Be sensible and cut contact right back.

My little one is actually very fussy on who he will go to etc He is very clingy to me and only gets excited to see me or his dad, everyone else barely gets a reaction and he will cry if they touch him. He is very forward for a 6 & 1/2 month old! It's been almost a month since he has seen his dad and he will not be seeing him again, this is his dads choice not mine. When he spent time with our son he was a good dad, very hands on doing everything without being asked.
He has now quit his job as he had threatened he would but insists he will still make payments. We no longer talk, i cannot stand to talk to a man that lied to me as much as he has! He wasn't there during the pregnancy and when i was giving birth to our son he was busy getting this other girl pregnant so he missed our sons birth.
Thankyou everyone for all of your advice. Me and my son are doing just fine without him :)

OP - you posted before, same exact thing.
And got similar advice.
Why again?

So what is it about this cheating fellow that has obviously made you have him back time and again over the 13 years? He's not the problem, he's the same old, stayed true to his form, you knew years ago when he fathere 2 other DC what you were getting, but had him back. Look to yourself, the problem is you and why you put up with it, even before your DC. You can't change him, you can change yourself.
Dump, communication about child through email only, remove from email and all social media. Cold turkey, then do find a better one to make you realise what a shit be is and forget the bellend.

He earns £50k a year and lives in his car? or did I miss something?

Hi op

Sorry to hear this, do go and get your self checked for STI's he's been having unprotected sex with many women lovely

@MMmomdd I've not posted before?

@opentooffers When he had his other children, we were not together we'd split. As stated we we've been on and off for 13 years...Cheating hadn't been an issue before 🤷‍♀️

@Guiltypleasures001 Thankyou, i have already done that as soon as i found out what he had been doing. Now all contact has been cut.

HE chose to walk away from our son when i found out what he had been doing, I wouldn't have stopped him from seeing our son because like i said, when he is with him he is a good dad and my son loved him. I would have been mature enough to put my feelings aside to ensure they had a good relationship but he didn't want that. The second he told me he wanted nothing to do with our son i blocked his number. He is not on any social media so I don't need to block him on any of that. We have no reason to communicate now. Its taken a long time but i am glad that chapter of my life is closed so now i can focus on being the best mum i can be!

FFS just do what you need to do!

he told me he will quit his job and work cash in hand so our child gets nothing! This new baby is his 4th!

Call his bluff.

But if he earns 50k, why is he living in his car??!!!

As an aside: Why do scum of the earth, good for nothing tossers like this guy manage to do what they do to multiple, seemingly sensible women?

I am sorry for your situation with regards to the first two children are they with the one mother or two different?

Find out what you will get through the CSA (may be difficult if your ex partner has, as he said, packed up his job). I've heard of people being very disappointed with what the CSA considers fair; You might find you're better off with your current arrangement.

It's worth getting an estimate and you could do it online, I suggest you put the area manager's salary because that's the last one you knew. You're not obliged to do anything with the result you get.

I'm glad you've blocked him.

How do you know he's packed up his job - did he tell you?

Mr truthful.....

He's a pathetic scum bag OP, I doubt he's quit his job, unless he was lying about having one in the first place, which seems more likely.

Report the idiot to the inland revenue for his cash in hand earnings so they can look into it and pursue child maintenance. Don't let him talk you around, its ridiculous and he is taking you for an idiot. Some of that will be because you let him.

How much does he pay you each month OP?