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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Am I being too sensitive

2 replies

mummyrocks1 · 17/01/2020 21:49

I have a friend who i have been friends for 7 years plus. I thought we were fairly close although now she's gone back to work we don't see each other that often. But remain in contact via text and I thought the friendship was quite mutual in terms of effort. Friend is quite busy, works three days a week but also manages to fit in regular meet ups with other friends.

Her and her DH are flaky though and are known to be very late to meet-ups. They don't like to plan things in advance and are very go with the flow.

I have been trying to arrange meet ups with this friend more regularly as quite a while can go by before we meet up. The last few times she has let me down though by double booking or having something else on quite last minute when I text to confirm arrangements. She used to do this before but I think she realised I was getting annoyed and got better but now seems to have gone back to letting me down.

So, 8 days ago I messaged her to arrange a meet up. She suggested the date, I agreed it and said let's put it in the diary so nothing clashes- I know what she's like. So message her today to confirm arrangements and asked to meet certain part of day. she messages back saying she already has something on. I messaged back quite surprised saying when can we meet and did say thought we d put it in the diary so no clashes. She read this shortly after and still hadn't replied. I don't think I will hear from her again.

DH knows what they are like and said she probably forgot doesn't like Pre-planning etc. Which I know but I am getting fed up of being let down by her. She seems to manage to meet up with other friends, every time I see her she's been out to dinner/drinks/coffee with so and so. I guess I am just not on her priorities. The other people she meets up with aren't even that good a friend to her, her DH told me so.

Am I being too sensitive? DH thinks maybe my expectations are too high? This has happened to me through your my life. I have lost many friends because I am the one making the effort or I am let done a lot. I seem to be no -ones priority, I am never the one people think about to invite or first choice to spend time with. I thought we're good friends. I don't have many friends so don't want to loose her.

How shall I approach this? Or am I overthinking it?

OP posts:
TheresGotToBeMoreToLife · 17/01/2020 21:55

I dont think you're being over sensitive. I think she sounds a but rude and thoughtless. People like this annoy me - as though they think their time is more valuable than yours

mummyrocks1 · 17/01/2020 22:06

It annoys me too, more so as time has gone on. I feel like she manages to meet up with other friends without double booking. This always happens to me though and if I dropped everyone who did this I wouldn't have any friends. I seem to be the person who won't mind being double booked.

OP posts:
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