So. Long story short, been together over ten years, several children, recently married. Other half super busy at work and became depressed. He then had a bit of a crisis, had some time off, saw the GP, is on antidepressants, CBT, counselling. Feels he is doing much better. Has now confided in me that while depressed, and convinced he would/had lost me, couldn’t see the Point in going on, he slept with a woman at work. He had apparently never fancied her, but knew she fancied him. She had to pop to his office, she flirted so he flirted back so they had unprotected sex in a disabled loo at four in the afternoon. He regretted it afterwards. No contact since. Until she messaged him to say he needed an STI test as she had chlamydia.
He told me at this point. But apparently would have told me anyway as he felt so bad. But in the meantime had carried on sleeping with me and had never thought to get tested or do anything to protect me.
I have no idea what to do with this situation. But the bit I keep coming back to is that fact that he genuinely believes he only acted like this as he was depressed, so if not depressed it could never happen again. I find this bit difficult to accept. Can you be so depressed you ‘accidentally’ do something this fundamentally crap?
I am fairly flat on most other aspects. Have had every STD test under the sun, a good long weep at my GP, rants with friends, and we are separating. But I still get stuck in the fact he really believes that the depression was the sole cause of this behaviour. Thoughts?