Am I being stalked/tracked?

[CheeryCherry]

Long story short, I’ve been separated for a year from my husband after years of coercive control/emotional abuse. It took a long time and a lot of stress and drama to escape. He is still trying to control me and emotionally harass me by text/message/email which escalated over Christmas and New Year. It ruined my family time with his deliberately timed contact. I blocked him on social media (I have done this before but he begged me to unblock as it was ‘affecting his mental health and he was become distressed’.)
More recently now he has randomly turned up at my friend’s house when I had arranged to pick her up for a coffee date. He said it was coincidence but then asked about a couple of things I’d put on Facebook.
Then last night he was texting throughout the night- from 2am onwards, saying how much he missed me and asking how I was. I usually go to bed early, but last night I was on a night shift. How did he know?
I never answer his messages.
I can’t get rid of him. If he has a tracker on my phone, what can I do?
I keep my phone on at night as my daughter is abroad and I like her to be able to contact me, plus I’m often on-call.
Arghhhhhhhhhh

If he knows your google password he can look at your search history.

Log out of absolutely everything, set up new passwords and VITALLY 2 factor authentication. Then you'll get an alert if he tries to login / change your password from a new device. Poor you this sounds horrible and a right ballache for you

I would worry he has keylogger installed somewhere.

He has your address he can write to you the old fashioned way.

Start gathering info to get a restraining order...

How is he messaging you?
For example, what's app will tell you last time online, so he could see or not just clicking your messages.
On FB he will be able to see when you were last online via messenger.

Have you considered contacting the police? This sounds like harassment.

MrsPerfect I have blocked him on fb and WhatsApp- will double check the friends only bit on fb.
It’s exhausting. And so stressful.
And yes I’ll look at the double authentication- I didn’t know that was a thing. Feel so clueless sometimes.

protecting your privacy is exhausting OP... sounds like you're getting there though.. good luck

I hope you figure it out. It sounds exhausting.

If you have iPhone, change your cloud password.
If he’s logged into your account it will ask
“Do you want to log out of other devices logged into your account”
Say yes! That will let you know if he’s in or not. It’s a silent app they can put on your phone, sees everything except what’s app.

This happened to my friend, take care x

Thank you. I’ve reinstalled fb and WhatsApp with numerical code entry as well as password. I’m not on iCloud, I never signed up for it. My locations are all switched off. He’s been texting me all day today but I’ve ignored them. Small steps.

Sounds like you are taking smart steps. You are stronger than me. I don't think I'd be able to resist texting 'wtf are you still texting!? We are over, leave me alone ya tube!' xD

But yeah, block him!

It would really help people give advice if you can say what type of device you use - Android or Apple. You can also google for security advice which is free.

If he is persistently texting, it sounds like something you did has blocked his access. I'd suggest you keep records in case you need to apply for an injunction later on.
You can also talk to Paladin Stalking Services;
paladinservice.co.uk/contact-links/

paladinservice.co.uk

I’ve got an iPhone but I’m not very tech minded. If it does continue by text I will block that too, I just don’t want him turning up more. We’ve been separated for over a year now but he’s just cranked it up again recently. I’m so tempted to just move far far away. But my youngest is at a local uni and we are very close. I’m hanging on in there. Just.

I think that a factory reset will remove all apps on both Iphone and Android, you will then have to reinstall all of your apps.
Then go through all of your accounts, change the password and add two factor authentication where possible.
Apple sends email notifications when users sign into iCloud, so check your notifications and if someone else logs in change your password.

www.macworld.co.uk/how-to/iphone/iphone-security-tips-3638233/

Change the password on your home router.
www.google.co.uk/search?client=opera&q=Change+the+password+on+your+home+router.&sourceid=opera&ie=UTF-8&oe=UTF-8

If he is still stalking you after a year I think you need to get outside help from Paladin and the police.

I’d not heard of Paladin - thanks for that x

It might also be worth asking MN to delete this thread fairly soon, in case he has access to this as well.

This happened to a friend. Firstly go on FB info security settings and there is an option that says something like, see where you're logged in. Go to that and click the button that says log out of everything. Then change the password to something he can't guess. I use a mix of upper and lower case and numbers. Then change all other passwords.

My friend's ex had a flying monkey who felt sorry for him and fed him loads of information. Once my friend deleted her, it stopped. My DH also had this with his ex who somehow knew when we were engaged, moved etc. He fell out with a friend who always was a bit of a dick anyway and suddenly she tried adding him everywhere as she was on an information diet as no one was feeding her stuff anymore.