What is fair here? Sex one

[embarrassingsexone]

Husband and I have a great sex life, all things considered. I don’t climax via penetration so before sex he will make sure I do, and then we have sex and that’s great.

My problem is that he is happy to climax once and then finish. Occasionally, if I am willing to wait 30 mins, we can go again, but the mood is killed because he's over it. The problem is that for me I would like to go and go and go. I’m not really sure what the answer is here. I feel a little unsatisfied because I don’t feel like once is enough for me.

Is this bonkers? What does everyone else do?

Honest to god MNHQ can confirm I’m a long time poster this isn’t some weird sex fetish thing or trolling or a journo I genuinely want to know if I am expecting too much. Like I’m finding myself not wanting to climax at all the first time because it means it’s over!

Op there is nothing wrong with wanting more then one orgasm!

I normally have a couple at least before sex.

Hi OP, is it another orgasm for you you are after, more PIV, another orgasm for him or what? I think most people on here are assuming it's just your orgasm but would you prefer a re-run of the whole experience?

In honestly I think it depends how long you take. If we're talking 5 mins then it's very fair to ask, if we're talking half an hour, maybe not.

I take 3 minutes at most - usually a second or third time is much quicker!!!

More oral for you before and afterwards perhaps?

Well an extra few minutes shouldn't kill him tbh.

Cant you have a wank?
If hes done, hes done.
Even if he did make you come again afterwards, youve said that's not enough because his heart isnt in it enough, so not really sure what would make you happy

For most men, Once the the load has been fired, that’s it! Why would he want to go on for ages after? Sexually he has peaked at that point. Very few men can go again straight away and if you think it’s bad now, wait until he is older!! If anything, He needs to learn how to control his climax and that will lead to a better experience for you and a better one for him.

"The problem with him finishing me off after is he is done and his heart isn’t in it. He’s just doing it as an obligation if you know what I mean."

So he's making an effort but he isn't enthusiastic enough? He won't be, that's biology. He can make an effort but by the sound of it you'll be dissatisfied because he himself isn't aroused.

Can you orgasm if you masturbate at the same time he's inside you?

Can you not come twice or 3 times before penetration? If it only takes a couple of minutes?

There are positions where dh can last ages and others where he’s done quicker.

I sympathize because I sometimes have a mini orgasm quite quickly and am only getting going again when dh is done.
It usually happens the week I am ovulating and I can’t get enough.

Maybe changing positions would help him last longer. I would play around with him adding hands during sex too.

Good luck

Well, sex is not that great if you are not satisfied. Try not to let him come until you have had 3 orgasms - gets selfish, he will benefit in the end.

'If hes done, hes done.
Even if he did make you come again afterwards, youve said that's not enough because his heart isnt in it enough, so not really sure what would make you happy'

@Branleuse Would hebecome entirely quadiplegic? :) It is better for him to sort OP out beforhand if he can put more of himself into it then though.

'Well, sex is not that great if you are not satisfied. Try not to let him come until you have had 3 orgasms - gets selfish, he will benefit in the end.'

@RebelWithVerySharpClaws that's a great plan except OP needn't stop at 3 :)

@embarrassingsexone You're not being unreasonable at all. Sex that leaves one frustrated is disappointing. It's not unreasonable to want a partner to satisfy you one way or another, as you do for him.

As you've said, once you get going, often it doesn't really take that long to get a woman properlysorted if their partner keeps at it. I have a Magic Wand toy that makes things a lot quicker, maybe something like that might be helpful? www.lovehoney.co.uk/sex-toys/vibrators/magic-wand-vibrators/

Hi OP

Just a heads up that we are in our 20's too and I am exactly the same as you.
However, after an O, then a (very quick) session.... I feel like I am only really getting started. The sex is lovely but because it isnt long enough for me I dont feel fulfilled.
Its hard to gage whether I have a good sex life or not to be honest because on one hand its great for the whole 5 mins but on the other hand its not enough for me.
He already struggles with lasting longer so I personally do not bring it up with him but often find myself fantisising over what I would like.
Its a hard one. And i do sometimes resent him for it.
Just so you know your not alone.

@Interestedwoman she said he makes her come before penetration. She also said that even if he made her come again afterwards she wouldnt be happy as he wouldnt be as enthusiastic.

I agree with above suggestion of getting a wand

Get a wand and use it afterwards. Get him involved with his hands/fingers too.

You have got to talk about this to him. If he loves and respects you, he will be pleased you brought it up with him so he knows.

A good sex life requires communication.

my wand has got to be my favourite possession