Have you had a relationship where one of you self sabotaged it? How to handle it?

[EmmaChicago]

Ive had therapy and still do. I know this is a problem for me and being aware of it helps me make changes day to day that stop self destructive behaviours.

I just wanted to hear from anyone who has experienced the same thing, either who does it or has had someone do it in a relationship with them. How did you handle it?

Example...I’m seeing a new person that I really like. I’ve had to stop myself many times from sending a text asking if he wants to cool things down or call it off! Why? I’ve no idea! He’s not given me any reason to say it!

I have certainly self sabotaged in the past but am happily single and that has been the best solution for me, so no advice, I'm afraid.

Yes exdp did that. Ruined our relationship and continues to do so even though he has made his life worthless.
Lost his family, his ds, his other ds, his job, all because he can't be happy. He doesn't believe he deserves happiness.

Being single is the best option and getting help because otherwise you bring other people down and it's not fair.

Thanks for replies! I was single for a while when I had the first part of therapy. I’ve met someone recently and don’t want to mess it up! I’m aware it’s in my nature to do this though.

I’d really like a happy relationship where I am in control of my emotions. So far I am doing ok...it’s one of those things that can suddenly escalate though I think :(

Anyone?

Yep been on both sides of this. In all honesty it always signalled the person wasn’t ready for a healthy relationship.

I feel like I am but have had waves of fear that I’ve managed to ignore. Like the texts.

It’s almost like habit and it’s hard.

I think if you have got to the point where you get the urge but you’re able to stop yourself then that’s great progress! Yea it’s a very hard habit to overcome.