Awkward endings to dates

[Awkward111]

How do you move past awkward goodbyes at the end of dates (date 5 coming up), when you are middle aged, haven’t kissed anyone for years as you were in a long basically sexless and affection free marriage to someone who stopped kissing (apart from during sporadic sex) pretty soon into the relationship, and find the whole saying goodbye on the street, often in harsh light, just awkwardness inducing .

And my date does not seem to be faring with the awkwardness any better .

How about a hug and a kiss on the cheek? I don’t know, I think that’s what I would do.
Was it a good date then?

Have sex? You'll probably be more comfortable kissing afterwards

That’s what we have been trying to do but it always ends up so awkward, and I feel like a 12 year old smirking in embarrassment. It doesn’t feel natural (once it did out of the four times we have met). The four dates we have been on have been nice, and he has many nice things about him. I do feel a pull towards him, but the awkward goodbyes are getting a bit excruciating!

@BinkyandBunty missed your message ().

It’s basically embarrassed attempts at hugs and kisses on the cheek. All angular and awkward.

Has this just been dates, meaning just going out somewhere together, and not any intimacy at all.? If you have decided to see each other again,and are happy together, maybe you should just give your partner a loving kiss,and see how he responds to you.

Has this just been dates, meaning just going out somewhere together, and not any intimacy at all.? Yes.

After so much time being basically alone and kind of self-sufficient, I don’t know how to do it. I also have no idea if that would work between us iyswim.

It might be okay if we were on a sofa at either one of our houses, it was dark, I had had something to drink... A lot of ifs, and I don’t know when the house scenario might present itself. Plus it’s fun doing stuff out and talking. Maybe it’s ok just to stick to that for now and see what happens? Do we have to go for awkward hugs at all? Am worried that if I just left it he would construe it as total lack of interest, which it isn’t.

I mean I have no idea how to instigate some kind of kiss without being awkward and embarrassed and feeling like an idiot.

Why do you think he hasn't tried to kiss you yet? Is he shy?
I think I'd just blurt it out to be honest and say are you not going to kiss me yet?!
Not saying that would be the right way to go about it though as I really don't know

Is there any sexual frisson between you? Are you flirting with each other or just being companionable? Handholding?

I feel a connection and he has been in my personal space sat next to me and that was nice. (God I sound like something out of a Jane Austen novel ).

Some flirting last time we met, once we had relaxed enough over dinner.

I think he is shy too, maybe? I definitely am. Is it ok just to carry on getting to know each other?

Definitely no hand holding. I don’t know, we are just getting to know each other. Three weeks ago we had never even met. He’s nice though, kind, clever, funny, lovely eyes and face, I like the way he talks etc...

Step up the flirting, eye contact, touching of knees, that sort of thing - I think it's a bit 0-60 to expect a big old kiss at the end of a date if the most contact you've had is sitting right next to each other.

I agree and I don’t expect a kiss, it’s just that I don’t know how to stop the weirdly angular and awkward goodbyes.

Think I might have to follow your advice and say something @namechange1041 .

Have a few drinks?
Tell him you would like to kiss him?
Hold his hand next time you are walking along?

it’s just that I don’t know how to stop the weirdly angular and awkward goodbyes. By making it more natural for you two to touch, which is by touching more.

Try the cinema , sitting next to each other and holding his hand rather than the dinner / coffee situation with a table as a barrier between you , alternatively a walk with an easy opportunity to hold hands , hand holding can easily turn into a kiss
4 dates in you obviously both like each other and are coming back for more , My way forwards in your situation would be a cinema date followed by a walk somewhere like a park so you have opportunities to hand hold but plenty to discuss about the film you have just seen,
I would also be tempted to greet with a peck on the cheek as this would break down the personal space barrier from the start of the date

Great advice from pp re cinema, walk, hand holding and instigate peck on cheek on greeting each other. He quite possibly is thinking the same as you! Please keep us updated as there are lots of us Jane Austin types on here 😆.

There's nothing wrong with taking it slow if you're both happy with that. (But if you want to move things along, the advice given by others is great!)

Maybe there just isn’t enough chemistry there?