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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

So fed up with my marriage and life in general

1 reply

TheLittlePear · 16/01/2020 23:32

My DH works out of the country for between 3 and 5 days a week. He came home late last night but has done a 14 hour day today and wasn’t home until after 9pm.

We have teen DC’s who spend all evening in their rooms, unless they have sports clubs on or are out with friends.

I am lucky that I only need to work PT, but I do absolutely everything in the house, walking the dog, taking DC’s to clubs, looking after elderly relatives etc

I just feel so very lonely and fed up with my life.

DH comes home and just dumps his stuff everywhere. If I whinge he’ll temporarily improve but he does everything so slowly and badly and I end up more irritated than if I’d done it myself.

I’ve just told him DS’s sports game has been cancelled this weekend and he responded saying great, I can go out cycling instead. His response would never be that we could do something together instead.

I feel like I’m always at the bottom of the pile. I’m lonely. I don’t really have any friends. DH is never here to talk to me and DC’s hide away in their rooms.

I don’t know if divorce is the answer. DH is not a bad person and I don’t know if I’d be better off on my own. I’m not sure I really love him anymore.

I’m sorry it’s a bit of a ramble but it’s a bit of a dump of everything in my head.

Has anyone been in the same situation? How did you improve it? Or has anyone got any advice?

OP posts:
madroid · 16/01/2020 23:42

I think you need to stop being so available. You're being taken for granted by all quarters, no wonder you're fed up.

If you were on your own, how would you spend your free time?

Your DC will be leaving home soon in any case so thinking about that now will be a good thing for you to have in mind.

Once your DH and DC see you getting on with your own life they will think twice about you being the one who has no time to spend with them.

Be bright breezy and busy whenever your DH is about. And let him sort out his own stuff. Stop being the dreary moaner and get out there to do something that you want to do that's nothing to do with any of them.

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