No judgement please just advice!n

[Sunny131]

Hi Y'all,
I need some advice, I have been with my other half for 9 years we are living together and are not married just to give you some background.

We argue quite frequently but there is one comment which really gets on my nerves.

Tonight I've come in and I'm knackered from work, I asked him if he fancied a takeaway as I was too tired to cook and he doesn't cook.

He states that we are eating too many takeaways, we must have one once every 3 weeks or so. I'm absolutely shattered otherwise I would have cooked.

He said we shouldn't be eating them especially me as I'm on a diet and trying to loose weight. I haven't said this to him, I have just been eating healthier. My response was that I'm happy with myself and it's not a big deal if I have one takeaway today.

His response was if I continue I'll be double the size and he won't be helping to lug me out of bed.

He claims he's trying to help me by saying these things but personally I don't respond well to guilt tripping.

I'm currently sat upstairs watching tele as I don't know how to react to these comments.

He is a very slender guy and I know I'm not the slimmest but I'm ok with myself. I'm an average UK size 14. I just don't know if I'm in the wrong here or he is?!

I've just said to him I'm not having you talking to me like this, and he stated I'm getting bigger and bigger when my weight hasn't changed!

Any advice welcome!

OP this has not come out of the blue. This is who he is. It's not pretty I'm afraid. You've been together 9 years. You say you love him. Think back and make a list of all the behaviour and the comments. He's obviously been chipping away at you for a while. It's funny sometimes when once you voice your concerns out loud (so to speak) you all of a sudden see your 'D'P for what he is.

Take a step back, read your posts back, imagine it was someone else asking the question... and think what you would advise. Would you tell them to think twice about staying with this person?

For what it's worth, I wouldn't stay. The comments about weight would be enough for me.

Why on earth didn't he cook?? Amd tell him to beef up and get himself to the gym as you don't like weakling skinny men.

Wow he sounds like an ass wipe
Insult him back ! CF!

I completely understand and i dont get why I'm putting up with it. Looks like i need to have a good think!

He talks to you how he likes, because he doesn't care about you or your feelings.. and he knows you won't challenge him.. he believes you will stay and accept it...

You put up with it because he has destroyed your self-confidence.
He sounds horrible.

Seems to me that his thoughts about your weight are the least of your problems. He comes across as a very selfish man who enjoys having you tend to his home and his belly without any reciprocation. All women need to be very careful with men like him - he will take the best of you while you become worn out (emotionally and physically) and demoralized. There are very decent men out there you know.