Separate Beds

[waitaminute0812]

So he constantly complains about our bed giving him a sore back etc , and took to sleeping in our daughters bed most nights and she wld sleep in with me reason being our bed is so uncomfortable (too soft) . So a few weeks ago I bought a new bed with a firm mattress as I too was not getting the best of sleeps. So I put our old king in my daughters room and got rid of her single. However he continues to sleep in there even tho moaning about the bed. So tonight he claims the bed a bought is too hard and now our old bed is perfect and very comfortable because ..... I am not in it , I have not to take offence because it is what it is when we were both in the bed he claims I caused it to dip at one side causing the discomfort. Now yes I am over weight BUT I am not fat as in a big fat girl , do Yous think I am over reacting that this statement is well out of order

I think it’s very odd he prefers to sleep in a bed with his daughter (instead of his wife) every night

OP said the dd sleeps in with her.

I don't think there's anything wrong in having separate beds/rooms if it means you sleep better, but your DH was not very kind if he told you he preferred to sleep separately 'because you are fat', my DH I have separate bedrooms, we both sleep better that way (& I am overweight although DH has never said anything derogatory). Can you discuss it in a calm, respectful way?

It’s a bit odd that, knowing he felt uncomfortable in the existing bed, you just went out and bought a new one without both going to test mattresses and pick one which suited you both. If it’s your weight causing the mattress to dip then two single mattresses on one king-size bed could be a good solution. I understand it might sting a bit to hear that your weight is the reason he can’t sleep next to you, but it’s among the most frustrating things in the world not to be able to get decent sleep and if this is the case for him I can see why he may have reached the point where he isn’t able to pussyfoot around the issue.

It sounds a bit though as if he just isn’t keen on sharing a room or bed with you regardless of the mattress. I think you need to address that properly and find out why.