Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

My Friend's In a Pickle

3 replies

TheBudgetBaby · 15/01/2020 17:22

Hi All!

Bit premature creating a Mumsnet (we are trying) but I wanted to seek advice for my friend who would struggle to write a post herself.

She has a 3 year old DS (Dear Son?) and lives with a partner - she works whilst he looks after him and sometimes his own child from a previous relationship.

The relationship hasn't been in a good place for quite sometime and she wants to leave but it's not quite so simple.

Firstly, she can't afford childcare on her own and she wants to have DS.

Secondly, She wants to stay in work, she loves her job and been in it for many years - like a 2nd home to her!

Thirdly, she is worried he will try and keep the DS although he has no job/income doesn't claim benefits and not worked for a while - she pays for him in everyway possible.

What is best for her to do? It's sounding impossible for her to keep her job and DS on a sole income - it doesn't help she doesn't have access to a car (but can drive) and not a lot of savings.

I've asked about her moving back with parents but she really rather not but that's the only way I see it happening - she is also doesn't want to kick him out on his arse (although I'd quite like to see it) as he has nothing.

If you want my honest opinion, the guy sounds like a waste of space sponge who doesn't do nearly enough.

Any thoughts at all?

OP posts:
Highonpotandused · 15/01/2020 17:39

She needs to leave him.

Has she checked what benefits she would be entitled to? The benefits websites will take into her earnings, childcare costs, rent, mortgage etc.

Are they renting or buying? Whose name is on the tenancy/mortgage?

category12 · 15/01/2020 17:45

She needs to be careful - it sounds like he is primary carer for their ds. She should get legal advice.

Gazelda · 15/01/2020 18:06

category12 is right. She'll possibly have a battle on her hands about who has primary residence of the child.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page