Any advice for a long and happy marriage?

[tiredandgrumpy]

We're off to a wedding this weekend and the female guests have to give a piece of advice for the groom (& male guests advise the bride). We have to volunteer a tip for a long and happy marriage. Anyone any recommendations? Right now my ideas list seems rather negative:

• don't get a blackberry
• never expect her to clear up after you
• accept joint responsibility for the state of the house
• if you want your underpants ironing, then do them yourself
• etc etc.

The minister at our wedding told us to remember that in life, as in the word

W E D D I N G

the

WE

comes before the

I

Which is something I remind DH about often!

keep some chocolate in the house for emergencies!

be loving, loyal, attentive and gracious at all times. and expect nothing in return unless theres something in it for her...picked that one up along the way.

I love your ideas tiredandgrumpy I'd go for one of those, even if it was just for the comedy value

Have a shed.

Couples where each person pulls their weight domestically have much more sex.

(say I! Seems bleedin obvious to me)

laugh together lots

Sit with her and talk.

Never go to sleep while angry, discuss and sort the problem before going to bed.

Do not get a TV for the bedroom

The words Never and Ever should not be used, the only mention of them may end up in huge argument.

These are great! fruitymum's strikes a chord so far, so will start by passing that one on to dh. Thanks everyone.

For the bride:
If you want him to do something, say so.

Don't expect him to be telepathic.

Sitting in silence does not mean he is annoyed. He is probably thinking, watching telly or just wants a bit of peace.

"Uh" is a perfectly acceptable answer to a question.

Don't hold up two indistinguishable garments and ask him to choose which one he likes best. If you do this, "they're both nice" IS an acceptable answer.

Don't expect him to come clothes/shoe shopping with you. That is what your friends are for.

• don't pick your nose / fart etc in front of her (i.e. get lax with your personal habits). This is not an aphrodisiac

Lock the bathroom door.

And hmc's one applies equally to brides!

"Couples where each person pulls their weight domestically have much more sex. "

Oh yes I am positive that must be the case WWW (but I wouldn't know, sadly!)

Respect each other and remember why you fell in love with each other in the first place.

And talk.

It does Unquietdad - but not so prevalent amongst us ladieeees!

Although, admittedly I did sit there and file the hard skin off my feet with a foot file in front of a repulsed dh the other day

Message withdrawn

Share your friends and your hobbies as much as possible

I think Doodletoo's story would be great for a great best man's speech. Or maybe not.

Tolerance. Respect. Lots of laughter.

Excellent doodledootoo

Always treat the other as you would wish to be treated yourself.

When you get it wrong, apologise and mean it.

When they get it wrong, forgive them and quickly.

Look after each other in all aspects of life.

Don't forget your partner in light of your children.

Relax.

Some good rules here!

I especially like no.19:

If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad and angry, we meant the other one.

and no.22:

You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done - not both.