To think that he might grow to resent me?

[Startedoutasfriends]

Relatively new relationship, just under 6 months. Things are fantastic, he’s so great, I love him and so far, so good.

The other night we were talking about DC. I have one and subsequently had fertility issues. He has none (early 40s), says he was never in a relationship that felt right enough to have them and that he’s ok with that. After a few drinks he admitted that he’d love us to have a baby, but understands that I can’t and he’s ok with that and said that he’d rather be with me and not have children.

I’m so torn, as I love my DD and would want him to experience that love for a child. Part of me is wondering if the best think that I can do for him is to let him go to find someone that he can go on to have a family with.

AIBU to think he’ll grow to regret not having DC of his own and resent me. I really don’t want that.

said that he’d rather be with me and not have children

I know you can't predict if he'll change his mind in the future, but if he said the above (and meant it), I'm not sure what you're worried about?

Don't create a problem if there isn't one.

I think that’s his decision to make. My husband decided to stay with me despite my gynae problems. As long as you’re open and honest with him about having children, there’s no reason to break up.

It's his choice, he knows what he's choosing

Thank you both. I’ve felt so flat since he opened up to me, because I too would love another DC but it isn’t an option for me, but he could absolutely achieve that with someone else.

So could my dh startedout. We’ve still managed 14 years of marriage.

If he already knows that it isn’t an option for you and is choosing to stay with you then the saying he’d like a baby after a few drinks is probably just that - something he’s filed away in the back of his head that seems like a rosy idea after a few drinks.

People who really want children generally tend to have them. People who say they’ve never been in the perfect relationship to have them probably didn’t want them especially badly.

Similar situation with my DP,except we've been together 4 years now, get married this year and I have 3DC. We talked about it, he knew from the off I couldn't have more and his attitude is that he's happy with the 3 he got as part of me.
I don't think he'll ever resent it.

Thanks for the reassurance, I hadn’t been able to stop thinking about it