Feeling of uncertainty mean he’s not the right one? Please help me sort my head!

[Tracey6891]

People often say when they met the one that they felt safe, it felt like home or they just knew and all was suddenly right with the world.

I’ve met someone I really really like, very much. This isn’t typical for me so it’s an unusual feeling. The thing is, I just feel total anticipation, nerves, uncertainty and even a bit sick when I’ve sent a text and get one back!

I know it sounds silly and I’m no spring chicken. I just wonder if this means it’s not really real and I would be feeling constant butterflies (not that enjoyable anymore!) if it was the real deal.

When I say uncertainty I mean uncertainty about whether he’s as into this as me and the whole dating thing.

It's perfectly normal to have that 'butterflies in your stomach' feeling, especially early on- that's why there's a phrase for it. x

A few people might feel completely comfortable around a particular new partner early on, but I'd say that's pretty rare.

The more you think you might like someone, the more anxious you might be, as you really want it to work. A lot of people feel the same.

I know it's easy to say, but try and relax. If you can't though, that's pretty normal. You'd have to weigh up the pros and cons if it carries on a fair while. My FWB/one of my besties it took me over a year to feel fairly relaxed around, I think because I really wanted him to like me. I never wanted to stop seeing him, but sometimes I would find it gruelling if we met up for an afternoon or night. I often have social anxiety though. It didn't mean I didn't enjoy his company, and feeling relaxed around him was worth the wait!

Hugs and have fun xxx

Take it a day at a time. It doesn't have to be forever soulmates happy ever after. Get to know him first.

I’m finding it exhausting! It’s been really nice and enjoyable but I don’t feel secure...not because I think he’s seeing anyone else but because I’m sure I’m far more into it than him!

Depends how long you’ve been seeing him? If it’s just a month or two that would be Ok, expected even. However I had this with a guy I was seeing and it carried on long after it should have died down. After a year I decided it wasn’t making me happy, so ended it. Not an easy decision though.

It’s been 7 weeks and 8 dates so not long at all.

Ah, well I would have thought that was pretty OK. Just see how things go, but if your spider senses are telling you he’s not into it, then try not to fall for him.

Felt very safe and comfortable when I started seeimg mu husband. Then I realised I really really liked him and turned in bliddering anxious mess!

If you're feeling insecure, which is what this is, then the best thing you can do is talk to him.

A no pressure chat, just to ask how he feels things are going, to put across how much you enjoy his company. Should give you a more secure feeling.

But it's normal to be nervous! He wouldn't be worth it if you weren't.

So many people say things like it just felt like home and I don’t feel that at all..just a bag of nerves and butterflies and stumbling over words (all of which I haven’t experienced in years)

Please don’t go in the usual mistake of looking for love at first sight (aka, the spark). That is ok for teenagers but it seems it has also became the default position for everyone in OLD, even if they are not in a position to attract that kind of love anymore.

Good love takes time to build. Don’t throw things away before you had time to get to know that person.

My ExH was the perfect husband for many years, to my utmost surprise, I knew I was going to marry him just after an hour... even when he presented himself as an arrogant insufferable twat the day I met him so bad I refused to even talk to the bastard for months! It is not always honey and roses.

It will depend on many many things. Past relationships, are you just out of a elation ship.
Are these feelings although nerve racking good or are the feelings trying to tell you something. Is he nice to you, does he say nice things. Even if you are madly in love with him you should feel reassured and happy when you're together. If you are left guessing then maybe it's not right.