Ex husband manipulating 4 year old DD

[notinterestedinyouropinion]

My EXH and I separated mid last year and although he has been absolutely horrible to me, I thought he was making a decent effort with our 4yo DD. He has only in the last 2 months been having her overnights EOW.

I started seeing someone late last year (EXH knows) and he has been putting horrible thoughts about this into my DD head. She has repeated things to me like 'daddy says (new partners name) is a bad man' 'daddy said (new partners name) is the reason daddy can't come and live back at home' 'I never want to meet (new partners name). She hasn't met my new partner but I would like her too sometime in the coming months and now I'm even more terrified to.

EXH is also constantly saying things like 'isn't daddy's place better than mummy's'. 'Don't you have more fun here with me' and I can see that it starting to affect her by her withdrawing behaviour. I have no idea how to help her without making things worse. I know he is doing this to get to me, it was a terrible relationship, I asked him to move out as it was getting more and more unbearable.

Any suggestions on how I can make her life a little easier and deal with his shitty behaviour?

This is parental alienation. I'd speak to a solicitor.

I have been in the exact same place. My EXH would outright lie to my children and say horrid things about my partner. It is VERY confusing for the children. My eldest (7 at the time) 10 now, had to have counselling because of it. In fact when the school could no longer offer counselling I got it elsewhere and his Dad refused permission! You couldn't make this stuff up! All sorts of lies were said about me. As best you can you need to try and not let that part of it get to you.

As the above poster has said this is parental alienation.

In the first instance I would be inclined to politely ask him by e-mail or text to refrain and if you can coax a reply; that is then an admission. If it then goes to court its not hearsay and will be used. Given your daughter is so young she won't be asked if any of these things are said, so unless there is evidence you might end up looking like the bitter person (yeah know, rubbish!).

Ensure you write something like 'Our daughter has come home rather upset and said xxxx. It is really important that we put the needs of our daughter first and this is having an effect on her. I would be grateful of you could refrain from saying this things in the future'. Try and be incredibly polite (hard I know!).

If he doesn't stop (which is likely) note down everything that is said.

If you can use a solicitor if not and nothing else works you can take it to court on your own (I am currently in the process).