First date - doing an activity you’re not good at

[caulkheaded]

First date at the weekend with someone who has been a friend for 3 years. We know each other pretty well.

He’s suggest a bike ride. I love cycling but I’m not a very able cyclist. I learnt a couple of years ago and I’m not confident on busy roads or steep hills. I’ve suggested a route and he’s happy. All good.

I’m now wondering if I’m being a bit selfish for not suggesting something we are equal in or something neutral. He’s an average cyclist and knows my level.

You've been friends long enough for it to be cool for you to tell him if you want to change the date plan. But you've agreed on a route and both know eachothers levels. It's probably not going to get competitive. Just have another activity in mind for the next one!

Why don't you tell him you would rather do something else on a first date?? I mean it's hardly conducive to chatting, is it? Suggest a walk and a pub instead?

That’s what I thought - we can just have fun. We once cycled together with some others but I don’t know if he remembers my skill and ability from then. Our mutual friends involves one who competes in cycle races round the world and he knows I’m not at her level but I’m also aware I want him to have a good time and not be bored I’m slow!

I think you are rather over thinking this. It's a date, not some kind of weird competition.

Can definitely chat and cycle.

I probably am over thinking it. I like him so have gone a bit “comparing it to other friends early dates” which isn’t the best plan as we’re different people.

You will just have to have a laugh and make it fun rather than trying yourself up in knots. Just tell him you are not an experienced biker. Goodness dating shouldn't be this hard!

Thanks. This is the get a grip reality check I needed. I’ve been totally comfortable about it until now and then began to over think it!

Could you cycle to a nice pub somewhere, stop and have a couple of drinks and then cycle home, or something similar? So the date isn't about cycling so much as a trip out in the countryside.

Do you want to cycle? I couldn't tell from your OP or not. Who suggested it - you or him?

Yes the plan is cycle pub cycle.

I want to. I really like it. I’m just not very good at it.

Is this Ernie!?