How do I tell him I don't like the way he kisses?

[Whateveryoudoordontdo]

I've posted about this from a slightly different angle before and most people said dump him, it will never improve.

I now know that I really really like him, he's lovely and supportive and funny and kind and handsome and all that jazz. I've been away for a few weeks, we've spoken daily and got really close. We're meeting up at the weekend and I can't wait to see him, but I am not looking forward to the kissing. Too much tongue! And I have to wipe my chin afterwards! I'm going to have to deal with it somehow because I usually love kissing and I want to love it again. There's no way I'm going to dump him.

So what do I do? What should I say? Any advice?

I just said I like it not so hard as DP did it quite hard and my head would be pushing back. He stopped doing that straight away and kisses me more softly and it's sooooo amazing! Helps that he has the most awesome lips too 😍😍😍.

Say it turns you on more when there’s less tongue and then show him

The weird thing is the other thing he does is no tongue at all! So it has to be some, but not too much...

When the kissing starts, gently take hold of his head to stop the kiss, then start it the way you like it, with the ole tongue (yours) nice but not chokey. If you can convey really turned on by the new kiss, all the better. But you will probably have to repeat until he gets it.
Good Luck.

Hello Whatevery, how are things in the kissing department now! Did you have to have the discussion? 🌺

There's an episode of Ally McBeal where Ling shows Richard how she likes to be kissed (I'm trying to find a link but struggling). She tells him he's not to move a muscle and then she really slowly kisses him and she (gently) tells him off if he tries to kiss back.

It's erotic and might work.

oh cripes good luck OP... I loathe that wet slabbering open mouthed sorry excuse for kissing...

he need to cut that shit out.... right now...

Yep, just tell him. People can like different things, it doesn't necessarily make them a 'bad' kisser, just different. I had 2 lovers once- the first one II'd known for years and we would kiss quite gently. The new bloke taught me how he liked it- a really wide mouth and lots of tongue. I tried this on bloke #1 and he said 'why are you trying to eat me like a praying mantis?' [grin

So, you can teach people what you like, sometimes it's not necessarily a matter of a 'bad,' kisser, just a different style. I agree with you, I don't necessarily prefer the full on style. :)]

My husband wasn’t a great kisser either. I just told him I like teasing kisses, less tongue, more swallowing. It’s never blown my mind but it’s still been good. Hell I married him didn’t I?!

I usually would just stop them kissing me and tell them to slow down, then I would kiss them how I want to be kissed. Usually all you have to say is slow it down, give a flirty look. It will work

Goddammit, I clicked hoping for an update from OP. Maybe it didn't go well and she's had to start an Amazon subscribe and save for tissues to wipe her saliva soaked chin.

Ah. DH was like this when we first met over 20 yrs ago.
I held his face in my hands, looked into his eyes and showed him how to do it properly.
Still love kissing.

I had an ex who kissed with me tongue at all. It was so weird!

I had a brief relationship with a man who had a phobia of tongues. Kissing was literally closed mouths rubbing together. It was gross.

Well... we had our date at the weekend. Turns out he really likes being practically suffocated by a tongue so he thought maybe I would like it too. I told him that no only did I not like that being done to me but I also didn't like doing it to him (I tried). He just smiled and said don't do it then in a very lovely way. So he toned it down. It's still not quite right, but it kind of got a bit steamy so I decided to carry on the training another time and just enjoy the other stuff that was going on...
I feel like I can tell him what I like and don't like and he won't be offended or embarrassed so I'm very hopeful about our next session. Thank you for all your suggestions and for sharing your own experiences of over eager or just plain weird kissing.

Great news. In my experience kissing is something that can be sorted. Hope it works out in your case.

Everything can be sorted. My husband used far too much tongue for me (I prefer teasing kisses) and was so rough the first time we had sex he made me bleed. Obviously his exes liked a very enthusiastic type of romping! But now he knows what I like and we both enjoy it. The fact you can communicate is key.