I'm really sorry but this is going to be a very long post so I will try and be concise.
My wife of over 35 years was married when I met her. Although they lived together they slept in separate rooms. One evening I was meeting her and she told me that her husband had known she was meeting me and told her to wear a certain pair of panties as he was going to take them off later.
At the time I had nowhere safe to take her and she had to return home to her children.
An hour later I got a call and she was very distressed so I drove to her home and forced my way in.
She was lying on the floor clearly distressed and partly undressed and I called an ambulance and the police.
At the time she refused to press charges against her husband and the police back then didn't want to get involved but I moved in the next day and he moved out a few days later.
At the time I wanted to kill him but she talked me down, I guess she felt guilty in some sort of twisted way. She never told their sons, our sons, and she never stopped the boys seeing their father.
Over the years he has had many failed relationships including three additional marriages and is now in a companionship/relationship with a woman who knows nothing of his past.
At our eldest son's birthday he and his companion where the center of the social circle and my wife was sidelined.
After her ex left my wife got into a row with our youngest son, my child with her, who accused his mother of being fixated on ex-husband and being jealous of him. This isn't the first time our children have jumped to his defense. Well, my wife finally lost her rag and told youngest that she had no interest in that RAPIST and in fact, it is he that follows her around like a horny dog.
The ensuing fallout has fractured our family with our eldest blaming his mother for every bad thing in his life and he hasn't talked to her since.
My wife's mental health is very poor and she is now so depressed I am afraid to leave her alone.
She is getting help and is seeing a psychiatrist tomorrow but I don't know what to do about our relationship with our eldest and he is now ghosting us on social media.
Any advice would be welcome.