Abuse?

[Charlottegemma]

Hi I am new to this and don’t even know if this is the right place to write things!!!!
It’s about my partner I have been with him for 9 years and 3 children but he has changed.
He emotionally abuses me and mentally and I’m constantly being told I’m not good enough for anyone else if I am not w h him no one would want me and some of the things he calls me makes me feel so I’ll. I feel like I am stuck and don’t want to break my family up just feel like I’m at the end of my teather with everything.
Has anyone been through this and got any advice.
Thank you for reading.

don’t want to break my family up

?? Why do you want to keep living with him? Serious question.

Are you married? Do you have a joint tenancy/mortgage?

Are you in touch with family and what's that relationship like?

You can't stay with a man who makes you feel ill. In any event, he's the one that's breaking the family up if he's name calling you and abusing you.

By abusing their mother, he is also abusing his children. This is not a healthy family dynamic to want to keep together.

Was in a simular situation.. its abuse.. it will never get better.. ever!
Contact womens aid they will advise you.
I promise you it will be the best thing you ever do..

Emotional/psychological abuse is equal to physical abuse and is recognised in law as such.
You can commit gbh on a person without laying a finger on them.

Have you ever heard an adult say 'I wish my mum had stayed with my nasty, abusive father for longer than she did' ??? Of course not.

Also, it is common for children who grow up witnessing their parent tolerating abuse to grow up thinking that is how they will be treated in a relationship and that it is OK. Or that that is how they should treat women ect...

Even if you weren't 'good enough for anyone else' (which is bullshit) all you really need to be is good enough for you. Staying with him is stripping you of being able to feel that way about yourself. And that is incredibly sad.

You deserve better, your kids deserve better - everyone deserves better than his shit.

He is a bully. And the only way he will ever be happy is when he us making people feel shit. That isn't someone you should spend your life with.

Talk with women's aid for practical advice about getting yourself away from this jerk.

Seize the day. Life is too short to spend it with people who make you unhappy. Especially those beasts who do it deliberately.

Thank you I just feel so empty and feel like there’s nothing of me.
We share a tenancy so will be hard to get him out.
Some day’s are good and then others are bad and really bad! He tells me the kids hate me and will know what I am like when they grow up.
Tells me I do nothing like today was my day off I dropped the kids off and then went to the range and then food shopping come home put it away sorted the cupboards cleaned the house and done the washing . Picked the boys up done the dinner and now I’ll bath and do there reading with him but I do nothing tomorrow I’m working and I feel most days that I don’t. Want to do anything and I know it’s not normal but I am so scared .
I have no family an led he is slowing trying to take my friends away but I won’t let him do that!

Tell your friends everything (assuming they are good people and not like him).

It might help to hear from people who have gone through narcissistic abuse. Youtube vloggers like Melanie Tonia Evans make good videos. You really have to be able to see that it is him that has the problem, not you. Learning as much as you can about his sort from these vids you will see the pattern and that a these vile ppl are the same and follow the same script.

This will help you distinguish the difference and separate his voice from your own inner voice again.

Learn as much as you can, watch other YouTube vloggers stories.

You aren't alone.

Ps: but never tell him about watching these and never call him a narcissist or he will turn it round on you.

Hope you find a way to break free soon!

Take a deep breath.
Gather yourself together
Then leave
Trust me, it won't be as bad as you imagine and you will be able to breathe again.
Leaving my EA controlling exh was the best decision I ever made.
I'm very happy. My kids are very happy. Even my exh is happy (or if he isnt, at least I dont have to hear about it!)
I'm not normally one for advocating ltb, but in this case I would run far and run fast

Thank you ladies so much .
I’m going to watch those videos on my own and hopefully there is a way out