How do you keep the emotional connection?

[crochetmonkey74]

With DP for 6 years now - very much in love, but we both have had recent promotions and so work is taking its toll a bit. We are overthinkers and worriers, and both teachers which is very draining. We try to keep time for each other and do date nights but I think we are in a rut of work- home to crash- work again, when we do get a bit of energy we often use it to see friends or close family members. Our evenings seem to be the same, get home, make tea, watch telly, go to bed. I know it is January and all that entails , and we are child free so should have far more oomph than we do! How do you lot spend time together that nourishes the relationship rather than just plodding along?

Why don’t u try playing a board game or cards one evening, we do this and it can be a giggle! Or even play a computer game. We play mario kart shots. When someone loses they have to have a shot! Just don’t go too overboard on a school night! My partner is a teacher as well so I know how exhausting the job is.

I was going to say board games! I also love going on walks with my partner on the weekends, as it’s a nice chance wind down after a busy week but also just catch up with other and get outside!

If it’s an evening though you could try other games like heads up on your phone? That’s a lot of fun. There’s a game called Dobble which is a really great 2 player game too.

Ooohh dobble yes that’s a good one if you aren’t too competitive. And yes walks. We love walking. It can be tricky but if you both put the effort in it’s a sinch

Thanks for replies- I think the walking is a good idea but we are a bit lazy and just want to hibernate at home- so we could make more effort there definitely. I love being a bit cold and then getting home all cosy- and I love the idea of a board game too

This is making me realise I need to do a bit more for myself as well instead of just sitting on the settee! I think I am in a rut generally which doesn't help!

Do you do stuff at the weekends together ? Do you go out for a meal midweek break the week up ?

Yes weekends can be good - and we do things but we do tend to fall into the trap of only seeing each other at home- going out tends to be with friends/ family either together or separately or running errands etc

I know none of this is rocket science and the answer is to just get out there and bloody do something! Will definitely take all this advice- we do have a gym membership and enjoy swimming together - so that's a good midweek activity as well as a midweek meal out

Hi OP,

Have you ever tried to get right down to the core stuff? Asking meaningful questions that really help you deepen your knowledge of your partner?

It sounds difficult but it's been proven to help couples remain connected in stressful times!

Just taking the time to ask each other questions like "How do you think your personality has changed in the past 3 years?" or "If you could be anyone for 24hours, whom would you choose to be and why?" can help create amazing conversations that will bring you closer together.

stay that's a good idea - we did something similar a while ago from a blog I read and it sparked some really good conversations- thank you!