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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Confusing situation

2 replies

amberthea23 · 14/01/2020 05:46

I just need some others advice aha!

Me and my partner separated in November last year after 9 years together we have an 8 and 5 year old.

We had a pretty bad year including me having cervical cancer and a radical hysterectomy which in turn left me infertile and I struggled to cope.

Anyway after we split I started speaking to an old flame. We stopped talking 7 years previous as we realised it wasn’t just a platonic friendship.

This flame was my first love, I met him when I was 15 and spent 4 years chasing him. We both got in other relationships but always fell back together until I had my eldest child.

Anyway he has also recently separated from his long term partner. We started sleeping together more or less straight away and it’s like we never stopped.

My ex has met someone else and getting on and me and my old flame are friends that just occasionally sleep together.

The thing is I know I want more 😂. I don’t think I ever stopped loving him fully, we’ve spoken and we both know it’s too soon for us to start anything as neither are ready for anything so serious.

He says I blow hot and cold on him wanting him then not etc and he does the same to me. One minute he tells me when he’s ready to settle he would settle with me and the next min he says we would never work.

I truly believe we have a ridiculous connection deep down, he rings me all the time to see how I am and comforts me when I’m upset and vice versa. He knows me through and through and I know him.

We wind each other up something chronic and get on each others nerves but I just can’t let him go 😂.

I don’t know if I should continue as we are and give it time and see if anything develops or cut my losses and just try and be friends.

We both have said we don’t know how to cut each other out we care too much about eachother.

So what do I do 😂

OP posts:
lavenderlemonade · 14/01/2020 05:51

I think if he wanted you he'd be upfront and ask you out. The silly game playing is a red flag for me. Although the back and forth may feel like excitement now, the thrill of the uncertainty will wear off and become an annoying feature of this 'relationship'.

If you were meant to be he would have snapped you up already. Personally I'd move on.

Oysterbabe · 14/01/2020 05:51

You're both single, why can't you just continue dating and see how things go? I'm not sure I understand the problem.

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