Just found out how much it was, should I return it?

[bumpysleighridejack]

Advice please! For Christmas my DH bought me a lovely charm for my charm bracelet. 2 days before Christmas he decided he wanted to get me something small extra as well, I said I'd seen some socks I liked in a shop in town. He disappeared and came back with a bag. Come Christmas Day I opened his present to find they had run out of the socks I liked and bought another still nice pair, and also a lovely scarf. I haven't had time to use either yet, and to be honest I was surprised he bought me a scarf cos I never get round to wearing them, I have young children and find they get in the way. I was just going through our credit card bill and found out these 2 items came to £40, which to some will sound like not very much but that's a lot of money to us right now. I was actually going through our statements to try and work out if we had enough money for our bills at the end of the month, something I always have to do. I really don't think I'm going to use the scarf, it's still got its label and I know the lady in the shop I'm sure she'd let me return it. Should I? I don't want to hurt DHs feelings but it feels wasteful. Help!

If you really need the money,yes.

I would return it.

If you aren't going to wear it and need the money then it makes sense.
Is DH likely to notice you don't wear it? If not, don't mention to him that you've taken it back.

I would. Do you think the shop would let you return without a receipt though? Many places only offer exchange in this case and if the item was reduced after Christmas in sales, you would only get the sale price back.

No. Keep it. It's a one off and really thoughtful ot him. It was probably his way of showing he appreciates you and wanted to treat you. Dont throw it back in hiw face

Yes do return it citing to DH you cannot see yourself wearing it, with the proviso you will eventually when find allow buy something you prefer.

Ohno- that's what I'm worried about, he's tried to do something really thoughtful I don't want to upset him. And I do like it! But I'm much more frugal than he is and would never spend that money on something I don't deem as being practical. He would notice I'm not wearing it yes. Ah it's hard to know what to do!

Rhyming- small local independent shop and I sort of know the owner, no guarantee but I think she would allow me to return it. Although that in way also makes me feel bad cos its an independent and we always try and support our local shops. Just money is so tight at the moment and we had already allowed ourselves a few extra treats over Christmas.

Speak to him?

Small independent shops tend to give credit notes rather than cash or recrediting your card, would depend very much on the owner.

Return them.
If he says anything, you can say, you liked them, were delighted to receive them and appreciate the thought.
You never wear scarves so you took it back.

Surely you can tell your Husband your true thoughts about the scarf, and thank him for being so thoughtful about getting you the gift, and tell him you would like to return it. The truth is always the best way to be.

I would keep them - they are a gift and people can get very offended if you don't keep or like a gift.

However, if you actually won't be able to pay your bills without returning them then practicality trumps sentiment and they need to go back.

Doesn't your husband know whether or not he can afford something? Why would he buy it if the extra 20 was that important ?

I'd try hard not to return it. It has sentimental value attached, surely? If you like it and he's been thoughtful then do try to keep it if you can.

How much are you short by? Do you have money coming in later that could pay for it? If so could you arrange to pay one of the payments later maybe?

Or, do you have other things you might sell instead?

No, don’t return it - treasure it and wear it on days it’s least likely to get in the way. It’s not about the scarf, it’s about the fact that he wanted to show you how much he loves & appreciates you. Taking it back or even discussing it is throwing that back in his face.

Slightly different if it was just one of many things or something hastily bought on line with no thought or effort- but it wasn’t.

Sometimes in a relationship you really need to think about the value of the gesture & their feelings and not the money (I’m like you, very practical, so I do understand your PIV I’ve just learnt over the years that it’s not always the most important thing!!)

Cut Back elsewhere if you think you might be a bit short this month.

Thank you incredibly- I think I'm leaning towards keeping it and just using it on nicer days out. I don't think it's going to make the difference between paying the bills or not, and I am in the process of selling some other bits anyway (new year sort out.) thank you for being a sounding board, DH and I have very different attitudes to money so it can be a bit of a minefield!

I don't get it - wear the scarf. It's a scarf not a ball gown.

If you keep it for "nicer days out" you'll never wear it - especially if you're tightening your belt so to speak. My mom always says, never save clothes for special occasions - just wear it.

I agree with @IncrediblySadToo and I also think a present should be kept if it's significant and I also think wear the blinking scarf ffs!

Keep it as when the kids are bigger you will be able to wear it. Cut back in other ways.

he's tried to do something really thoughtful I don't want to upset him. And I do like it! He would notice I'm not wearing it yes

Wear it and enjoy it.
Sometimes the value of things is in being treated. Accepting the thought. Acknowledging kindness.

Keep it and wear it. Unless it's a question of being unable to put food on the table or heat the house - and if it comes from a shop that might only give a credit note then you are no further forward.

It is so rare that my other half takes the initiative on a gift that I make an effort to wear/use a surprise gift just to show appreciation, even if I don't much like it.

No doubt in my mind.....Keep It! Keep it and let your husband see you enjoying it. This gift is special, given by a person who loves you.

Thank you everyone for talking sense into me, think it was just a shock seeing how much it cost as it was meant to be a small extra. But I will keep it and make a pint of wearing it, thanks!

Good on you, so pleased!