Forgive cheating partner but end up leaving anyway?

[Cheeseandhamtoasties]

Without going into detail, DP cheated on me over a year ago, as far as I am aware it wasn't physically but I'm not so naive to say it definitely wasn't.
At the time, after one hell of a row, I said we could try and move forward (I had just had a baby and was in such a vulnerable place). It's came up a few times since and I've almost tried to end relationship but he pushes and pushes me to forgive him, refuse to leave house etc until I crumble and put it to bed again.
He has tried to make it up and been a good partner since, but his cheating absolutely broke me, I thought over time it would get better but it hasn't. I have become a shell of the person I used to be. I haven't been truly happy since before I found out about his unfaithfulness, I've had happy moments but everything is sullied by the underlying hurt.
I've gotten to a point I genuinely can't see me every being happy again, but I know this is ridiculous, though I'm not sure I can ever be happy again while I'm with him. It's not even a case of I'm not happy with him because he cheated, it's more I'm not happy within myself because of it.
Looking for advice if anyone else has been in a similar situation in that they 'forgave' someone for cheating but had to leave eventually anyway? And also any advice on how to actually end things, so that he can't refuse to take no for an answer?

Exdp cheated in April sexting and stuff.
I found out in July but realised in October I didn't actually want to be with him.
What we had wasn't what I thought and by October I realised I had started to get myself together to leave.
I didn't plan it, my mind was preparing me, I was stronger and confident and now working.

I have know advice for leaving though, I told ex to move out which he did but he didn't realise I meant forever and in currently on bail for stalking and harassment

Cheese, what is your housing situation? Can you move out? Your P doesn’t have to agree.

You were me OP.

My, now exh cheated on my 6 months after we got married (he told me it was emotional but I found out 3 years after it had been physical), we had an 18 month old at the time. I stayed, tried to work at it, for all I know he stayed faithful after that and really did try. But I simply couldn't forgive him, it took over my life, it marred every occasion, Valentine's Day, wedding anniversary, birthdays everything. It destroyed me, so after 3 years I called it a day. Neat thing I ever did, looking back I realise I could t ever forgive anyone for doing that so I should have cut my losses and kicked him out when I initially found out.

*Best thing I ever did

Mine cheated 4 months in but it came out a year later. Tried for another 2-3 years but it was exhausting checking his phone. The trust had gone. He wasn't the person I fell in love with. When I kicked him out he was furious and did an about face on the love bombing and emailed me all the gory details. You don't need this shit in your life.

My DH had a five year affair that ended 15 years ago. He left multiple times but always came slinking back home begging forgiveness only to leave again as he couldn’t live without OW. Eventually I chucked him out and got a solicitor and started divorce proceedings. When he realised I was serious he finished with OW (really this time) and came back home. Like a stupid idiot, I let him back in and we have been together ever since BUT it is not a marriage! I have no respect left for him and we have separate bedrooms and live like brother/sister or room mates. I wouldn’t say I was happy but neither am I unhappy. We have a comfortable lifestyle and go on holiday etc. However, I do look back and think I should have not let him back.
On the other hand, being on your own with a young child is not easy either.

This is very common, I believe

Swallowing shit forever is not the human condition. Most people wake up out of their appeasing stupor sooner or later.

And if you say it is over...it is over. Get that straight in your own head first and foremost.

An ex cheated on me with a friend of mine, I didn't find out straight away but when I did I was talked in to staying together but a year or so later, I left.

You don't have to get his agreement, you just have to decide and stick to it.

Get your finances in order, know where you're going and how you'll get everything there before you break the news. Make telling him the last part of the plan rather than the first. If you jointly own anything, get legal advice.

I think many people panic and try to hold on to what they thought they had. But that hurt runs deep and resurfaces. I've seen it so many times. Hes fucked it all up. So sorry OP

OP, you have been utterly diminished by his disrespect, lying and cheating. He made the decision to betray you (and in turn your child), and you can empower yourself by making the decision to leave. You are actually doing your child no favors by staying in such an unhappy, draining environment.