To text or to leave it?

[DatingNightmare]

Ok so, went on a date on Saturday. Had a really good time. Ended up spending the night and he stayed until late afternoon. He made comments about 'next time' and he seemed really keen.

However, I've not heard anything since. I know it's not been very long but obviously in the digital era this is confusing me a little. I don't know whether I should be confused or not, because on the one hand pre-date he was genuinely not the constantly texting type.

I'm not fussed about spending the night with him. I would've normally overthought it but dating has made me realise that I'm not really fussed about it and I don't expect it to mean commitment and if someone's feelings changed about me based on it then clearly they aren't the type of person for me.

So, I'm starting to approach dating with a view of doing what I want and if they don't like it, they aren't right for me. So on that basis, should I just send a text? I'm sick of sitting here overthinking and feel like I'd rather just say it. I have a very dry sense of humour and whenever he tried to drop a 'next time' hint or something I was just cracking jokes rather than actually saying yes so I'm now overthinking that I gave off the wrong impression (I have a very dry and sarcastic sense of humour)

However, on the flip side, in my experience of men if they are keen they would text. So really, if he doesn't I should leave it? But on that basis I will always have that horrible gut feeling that I should've.

I won't be upset if it's not going anywhere, we had fun but it's only been 1 date. I just can't stand the anxiety and overthinking and just want to know!

Help!!!

Nothing to write home about. Just making conversation!

Pretty anticlimactic

@datingnightmare brilliant 😂

@Motorbike311 I apologise that my life isn't exciting enough 🤣🤣🤣

I don't feel fully out of the woods yet as post-date anxiety is real but I mean it's got to be a good sign? Blehhh we'll see.

@DatingNightmare I'm just glad you made it through these tough times, sending thoughts and prayers...

Has he asked to see you again? That's what you want. Not just placeholder chit-chat.

Brilliant that he’s text you

If you put out straight the way it usually means it would be a fwb situation

I agree

I think what you think is a dry and sarcastic sense of humour has probably worn thin with him and he isn't going to put himself out there to have you piss on his chips again.

Ah, he's sent a message. Now is the time for you to be a grown up.

Aww bless you, I'm sure a lot of us would be the same. Hope you get on well with this one/one of them, and/or have a lot of fun. Best wishes xxxxx

Post date anxiety is awful, but the fact you're feeling that way tells you that you like him.

My DP isn't really a texter. He prefers face to face as he feels so much is lost or potentially misunderstood through text (especially with sarcasm and a dry sense of humour). His lack of texting in the early days used to send me into an anxious frenzy. I knew I was being ridiculous, even at the time, but I couldn't help it. He much prefers speaking on the phone to texting. He asked to call me before we even met (we met on OLD too) and phone calls left me far less anxious because you can tell the tone and the conversation flows in a way that texting doesn't. When we still lived apart, we'd text sporadically throughout the day but we'd often have a long phone call in the evenings which was far nicer.

If this guy doesn't like texting for similar reasons, maybe suggest a phone call?

He's probably limbering up for round 2

I would ask him pretty soon if he wants date 2. Saves wasting time if he’s not really up for it and just keeping you ‘hanging on’

Glad he's been in touch but cut back on the sarcasm. That can wear thin very quickly.

I didn’t sleep with my DH on the first date but thought it went ok and was expecting a follow up text.

He didn’t text me and I was surprised as 1) I considered myself a decent catch and 2) thought we got on ok. I text him some remark re he must not have enjoyed it for closure rather than anything else and he said he had an thought I hadn’t enjoyed it. We’re both a bit emotionally void and quite closed so we’d just misread each other.

Anyway. Married now. That’s was the first (and clearly last) time I text first after a date and we often joke about it now.