Had enough

[dory90]

Hello,
I'm really angry this evening and just wanted to have a rant / get some opinions.
My partner of 4 years works really long hours in a physical job & comes home quite smelly & dirty but he won't shower. I've expressed my disgust to which he says he showered in the morning so won't shower again, fair enough I don't expect him to shower twice a day but I've suggested could he have his shower in the evening because it doesn't matter if he smells nice in the morning he isn't in close proximity with anyone like in an office or something. He smells foul & I end up going to bedroom to read while he stinks the living room out. Anyway fast forward to yesterday evening his friend invites himself to ours (another thing I'm livid about as I just wanted to relax) partner says yeah sure see you soon THEN GETS IN THE SHOWER! So the way I see it is I'm not good enough for him to be clean but the friend is? He comes home early when we have guests & cleans up but when it's just us he doesn't do anything. I feel like he is putting on a show for when people come around but I get the messy, smelly version of him. What would you do?
Thank you for reading.
P.s. I haven't heard/seen him brush his teeth in AGES I'd go as far to say it's probably been months. 🤢

Well, I wouldn't be having sex with him any time soon.

Ugh. That is disgusting and showing a complete lack of respect towards you. I'd be calling it a day with him.

I’d leave.

He’s been told he stinks but won’t do anything about it for you. The not brushing his teeth too....

🤮

Oh gross. How can you even stand to be near him! Find someone who cleans himself! Men are so disgusting

What are you doing staying with this man?! Are you happy in the relationship generally? Because he sounds like he doesn't give a shit about you so I don't understand why you'd stay.

I honestly want out of this relationship now, it's going nowhere. We rent a flat together and I'm a walking distance from work so it is ideal staying here, I have thought about going back to my mom's but it's too far for me to travel to work. I'm thinking I need to start looking at my own place

That's seriously disgusting and unfortunately demonstrates that he doesn't give one shit about what you think of him.

How the hell do you get intimate? He must stink, fuck that OP x

That is disgusting! I presume he also then gets into bed after not showering or brushing his teeth that's just gross and would be enough of a reason to make him leave

We haven't done anything intimate since around October. He then has the cheek to be upset about this to which I say if you washed more you'd get more. But if I'm honest I don't want to do anything with him even when he is clean, our relationship is rubbish. I'm just stuck because of the living situation

And he isn't allowed in the bed, I've told him I am not putting effort into washing & drying sheet/quilt cover for him to soil woth his smelly hooves

You're only renting, you can soon find yourself a new place, don't worry xxx

So you don't share a bed... He doesn't shower and he doesn't brush his teeth? Why are you still in this relationship OP, you must know that you deserve better than this. What would you say to a friend if she told you she was in this situation? Also these are REALLY easy things for him to put right. The fact that he isn't bothering when he knows how much they bother you speaks volumes sadly