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Relationships

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Dad's divorce

11 replies

dontmesswiththeGC · 12/01/2020 09:37

My dad is getting divorced from a horrible woman he's been married to for 15 years. She's asking for £1500 a month from him after the divorce. He's 65, they have no children together and both have cash from a house sale last year sitting in the bank that they'll divide between the two of them. Why on earth would she think she has a right to this regular money from him? He'll be retiring soon so what happens then? He doesn't have a lawyer and was hoping to manage the divorce without one as it seemed simple (no house or kids to deal with) but this worries me. Any advice as to what actual rights this woman has to my dads income post divorce?

OP posts:
AnneLovesGilbert · 12/01/2020 09:38

He needs a lawyer.

BackOnceAgainWithATinselHalo · 12/01/2020 09:41

Well, he says ‘no’ and sees whether she accepts that or whether she stalls the divorce and makes a judgement on involving lawyers.

Scarsthelot · 12/01/2020 09:44

Is he quite rich?

With no kids she is still likely to a chunk of equity and even, perhaps some of his pension (what he paid to it during their marriage).

He needs legal advice, because the smallest details can impact an outcome.

Scarsthelot · 12/01/2020 09:45

Not equity. What's in the bank.

peonyfairy03 · 12/01/2020 09:45

She’s looks like she’s trying for spousal maintenance.

dontmesswiththeGC · 12/01/2020 09:54

He's not rich as such. He's got a good income as he's a medical professional but very little savings or other assets (mainly due to his divorce from my mum 20years ago after which he basically started again) everything went into the house they bought together and sold last year. I think he was expecting that all assets would be divided but this regular payments to keep her in handbags and holidays is bloody ridiculous. Throughout their marriage he paid for everything (bills, food etc) whilst the money she earned ( she is still
Working so has her own income) went on holidays with her girlfriends and clothes. I guess she's now got a bit of a shock that the money you earn should actually go on living expenses rather than swanning around. Surely she now just has to manage her own money differently rather than expect a man she's no longer married to to be paying her for nothing? He of course will say no but I just wondered how likely this is to be something he'll have to do? Any examples here of similar situations?

OP posts:
CrotchetyQuaver · 12/01/2020 09:58

He needs to get proper legal advice. I doubt "no chance" will cut it with the STBXW

Scarsthelot · 12/01/2020 10:06

He needs to get proper legal advice. Spousal support is rare. Usually in cases of high earners where the other one has made career sacrifices to raise kids.

Its unlikely she will get any, but no one can say 100%. She may apply for it as a bargaining chip, to try and get more of the money that's in the bank. She may mo intention of wanting it.

But if her pension is shit, she may get an equivalent chunk of his. She may mor as she has had the opportunity to build her own.

He needs legal advice because she will keep trying to get more and more.

When divorcing dont believe if the other person says they have had legal advice and you have to give them xyz.

Bils wife told him that she solicitor told hee she would get spousal support. He earned 22k, no shared kids. Her kids were now all adults and it turned out for the last 5 years of their marriage she claimed they had split up and was claiming benefits as a single disabled person. Despite him working. He had no clue.

His solicitor pointed out that she had, in paper being supporting herself for 6 years. The solicitor suggested that any effort from her to suggest that wasnt the case would mean she was admitting to fraudulently claiming benefits. Also he didnt earn anywhere near enough to pay spousal support or have much of pensions. No house etc. Thw divorce wa dealt with quickly and she crawled back into her hole.

LemonTT · 12/01/2020 10:17

Your father should see a solicitor and use the appointment to set out the financial facts about the marriage, income, pensions, equity, savings and debt. Moral judgements on her spending and lifestyle and supposed fairness aren’t relevant to the outcome of the settlement.

He got married after being divorced before so he knew the deal. He now needs to accept the reality of a divorce settlement. That might include spousal maintenance. But this is not usually awarded these days without children and where the spouse has a job. But their ages and pension arrangements might be relevant in this case.

He needs to get objective, qualified and informed advice from a solicitor. Her opinion isn’t objective and neither is yours. The internet won’t provide qualified or even informed advice.

PinkiOcelot · 12/01/2020 10:25

He really needs a solicitor. Even if just half hour free for advice. He shouldn’t do this without legal advice.

waterSpider · 12/01/2020 11:24

I think the key point here is that he is retiring, and that does change things. I suspect she wouldn't get "spousal maintenance" as such, but she could well get a share of his pension -- which could be as a lump sum, or share in his scheme, or in other ways. As a medical professional he may be expecting a large pension, maybe several thousand a month, so her getting a share of that could be sizeable.

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