Shall I end it?

[smilingElizabeth]

I've been with my boyfriend for 4 years. We don't live together and I don't want to as we both have 3 children and don't live in the same town and one of my children has special needs and can be very challenging.
Mostly our relationship has been great. He's wanted more commitment and I've be scared by a very acrimonious divorce that took a long time to resolve and court proceedings. My bf has supported me through this and supported me through a recent serious illness. I told him 6 months ago that I didn't want to live together or get married. He was upset about it but decided he wanted us to stay together.

However, I have a gut feeling that he's not right for me. I can't really explain why and I don't know what to do.
I've recently been diagnosed with depression and anxiety and am taking antidepressants. Since then I have no interest in sex and have been struggling with motivation and energy following my health problems.
I just can't decide what to do about my bf. Is this a blip or should I listen to my gut?
Also, if I was to end it I know I'd really struggle as I hate being the baddie and don't really have a reason or explanation. My mind is in turmoil..... please help.

I'd be inclined to say wait to see if you feel better re. the depression and anxiety and then see if you still feel the same way about him.

However maybe you don't have much energy or focus for a relationship on top of kids etc at this time (?)

*Also, if I was to end it I know I'd really struggle as I hate being the baddie and don't really have a reason or explanation"

You don't need one -but I'd you really feel the need, you have more than enough on your plate with kids, a child with sn, health issues etc and can't give a relationship the time, focus, headspace etc.

But you have the right to end a relationship at any time.

Given what you've said I agree with GilbertMarkham, I would wait it out and see how you feel once the anxiety and depression are a bit more under control. I've suffered with depression yeara ago, and have lived with anxiety since I was a teenager, and so I understand the need to 'know', I also find it hard to trust my own instincts incase it's the anxiety talking which in turn creates more anxiety! Therefore I'd say take your time, there's no timescale to work to here, better to just ride it out for now ncase you throw a grenade into your relationship only to realise that you made a massive mistake

Thank you for your replies. It's sensible advice and I think I shall wait a bit and see how I feel.
Booboo24 I know what you mean about the anxiety and trusting your gut. I have exactly that problem!