LDR and surgery.

[TangledMind]

Me and my DP are mid twenties and have been dating for about a month and then in a relationship for 9 months. Very passionate and whirlwind from the get go and have been for the past 7 months going to and from his on an almost weekly basis. We live nearly 200 miles apart and he drives whilst I do not (currently awaiting to do a cbt test for a 150cc).
Anyway DP has a consultation soon to confirm he needs abdominal surgery and estimated for the surgery to be anywhere from two months to six months away and has a recovery time of approx 6 weeks. The only times we generally agree not to meet up is either due to my mental heath (I need periodic time in self imposed isolation for my mental wellbeing as I can't switch my brain off from hyper vigilance when around people regardless of how long I'm around them) or because we both have commitments around the same time so going to either off each ithers places isn't feesible.

DP thinks he can drive again after 3 weeks but I'm more inclined to think that the over 3 hour drive (dependant on traffic and the need to stop to stretch legs) would be too much especially as the seat belt would sit on the surgery site.

I could potentially adjust and deal with being separated during that time apart from some pinning as I adore any time with him for 3 weeks, may struggle a bit after that but could force myself to deal with it. However DP is more clingy then I am and I don't think mentally he would cope well for that length of time away from me.

We have been trying to figure out how to manage this but we can't think of any ideas so I thought to ask all you wonderful people on any ideas you could come up with.

Things to factor in is we have a dog together, I may or may not have a 150cc and I also have a cat who if not for too long could get a cat sitter.

Thank you in advance and hope it makes sense

I could potentially adjust and deal with being separated during that time apart from some pinning as I adore any time with him for 3 weeks, may struggle a bit after that but could force myself to deal with it. However DP is more clingy then I am and I don't think mentally he would cope well for that length of time away from me

Neither of you sound like ideal candidates for a ldr, honestly.

Is his surgery laparoscopic (keyhole) or open incision? If it's lap then 3 weeks would be a reasonable recovery time. If its open then it would be risky to do a long journey of that length before the recommended time. Cars can be very dirty environments!

Can you or him not get the train or coach to one another?

You have a dog together? But live 200 miles apart? Where does the dog live?

I am also confused about why you are getting 150cc, if you are planning on doing 200 miles on it?

Surely the solution, if you must see eachother other is that you take some time off work in the middle of the 3 weeks and get the train or coach to go see him and stay for a few days.

Can he not come and stay with you? If he can’t drive then surely he won’t be back at work during that time? Or surely you could get the train?

Thank you for replies I'll try answer them each.
@EvenMoreFuriousVexation
Were not suited to LDR and are in the process of sorting out living closer, I would be moving to his area as he is more tight knit with his family then I am with mine and would be a hassle to visit my area to see friends and family (it was my suggestion). But this move won't happen until later in the year.
The surgery itself will happen in his area so him being at mine would would be tricky to organise, its known what type it will be key hole etc we don't know until this appointment coming up. Me going via train would be the most likely idea, exspensive but doable as coach I imagine wouldn't accept the dog.

@Scarsthelot
Yep we have a dog together, the dog is with me when me and DP can't be together as he works way too long of hours to care for the dog on his own when he goes back to his for work.
I'm getting a 150cc because I like bikes, my partner has a bike and so I finally decided to get my license. I don't like nor want to drive a car myself.

@user1493413286
He dedientely couldn't work but again issue would be how he would get to mine as surgery would be at the hospital in his area.

Thank you seems like a good idea from you all is taking the train (with the dog) and staying for a few days. I'm wondering if half way through would work out best or should I go with more closer to the beginning so I can help out more?

Sorry meant to say it would NOT be a hassle to visit my friends and family lol.

We have been trying to figure out how to manage this but we can't think of any ideas

Surely train/bus would have been your first thought?

Trains are stupidly expensive for the distance (around the 100 mark where as driving usually costs 40, that's both one way) which was why I originally discounted it as an idea in hopes of finding something a bit more money friendly.

Buying tickets well in advance will reduce the costs.

Yep we have a dog together, the dog is with me when me and DP can't be together as he works way too long of hours to care for the dog on his own when he goes back to his for work.

So are you going to visit him on this bike?

Or is the bike irrelevant to the situation.

I am a bit confused how you and the dog would travel 200 miles on a 150cc.

Coaches are a LOT cheaper than trains. But also take a LOT longer, and I'm not sure if they allow dogs.

He would need to check with his insurance company about being eligible to drive

You have a dog with a guy you have been seeing sporadically for 9 months?

Anyway, dog aside,'if you can't even work out how to see each other when he is unable to drive I don't think this relationship is going to work.

You've been seeing each other for 9 months, long distance, and you got a dog together?

And you are contemplating leaving him on his own when he has major surgery rather than getting the train?

Very strange.