Over the past 6 months or so, I have been getting this weird feeling that something isn’t right in the relationship. I have never had this feeling before in this relationship, but I did in the previous one, when I thought my ex was cheating me, and I was right.
All started with him moving to a new job, suddenly he was working all late, coming home smelling of alcohol and being on his phone all the time. Even at dinner in a restaurant, and all holiday.
I wasn’t happy but thought (and still hope) it’s the new job. To be fair I could see, and hear the calls and messages were work related, however there are things happening that I just can’t explain, and my intuition is telling, or more like screaming, that something is going on behind my back. I started going through his stuff and basically snooping when he is not around. These are some of the things that started my paranoia:
- I found a brand new metal water bottle (?) in his bag, price still attached , in let’s say a girly pattern, like a snake print or leopard print, can’ remember anymore. It was in his bag for a couple of days, then disappeared. I never saw it again. Originally I though it was for me.
- when we were on holiday, he went back to the room to get on a work call. He then joined me by the pool. I then went back to our room to use the toilet. His laptop was still on, but I never looked at anything. He came back running as if he realised he’d left the computer on, and quickly closed it.
- I normally got some expensive or meaningful Christmas gift, this year he gave me a bottle of perfume which I already have, and a card written 2 min before handing it to me.
-his phone is always with him, I don’t know the password anyway, and when WhatsApp messages arrive, you can’t see who they are from- he must have set that up in the privacy settings. All you can see is ‘new WhatsApp message’
-now the best one. I found a pair of women’s extra replacement heels in his bag. You know, the little plastic bag with heel caps you get with a box of new shoes. This was before Christmas. I was REALLY hoping they were for me, and that I would be getting new heels for Christmas. Deep down I knew I would’t. And I didn’t. I got a bottle of perfume.
I have no way of checking anything, his phone is by his side all the time, and even if I somehow got hold of it, I haven’t got the code.
He says he loves me so so much, I am his love, I am his everything, we have sex 2-3 times a week, sometimes less, he seems to still be interested in me, but I just don’t know. Everything is telling me, there is someone. I don’t think I can leave without a hard proof. I am still half hoping I am being paranoid and maybe the heels were there innocently? But how? And the water bottle? I feel I am going crazy.