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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

How to ignore negative work colleagues

16 replies

lilcreed · 10/01/2020 12:49

I am currently recovering from depression (on anti depressants) and my New Years resolution was to focus on the good.

I am a teacher and I aim to come into work for 7am, so that I can leave earlier and go home to enjoy my evening ( creating a good work life balance).

Every morning I come to work and sit at my desk with a pile of things to do. I have two specific members of staff that will come in my classroom, sit on a desk and start talking/ complaining.

One member of staff is a woman and she is a complete ‘mood hoover’. She feels that she is always the victim, everyone is against her and every week she is saying that she is planning on leaving the school as no one respects her. I don’t see this and tell her to speak to the head teacher. But she never does and she will sit there moaning instead of actually doing anything. She moans about workload and will talk about it for hours without actually getting her head down and doing it! She will speak to me for an hour, even though I make it obvious and look at the computer giving short answers! (I feel so rude).

Then an older male colleague (who has autism) will come and speak to me for no reason every morning (40 minutes) about the most random things with no purpose. Again he isn’t getting the message.

It’s getting to the point where I can’t get anything done and end up leaving work late. I feel frustrated but don’t want to be rude. Any tips?

OP posts:
kiki22 · 10/01/2020 12:51

Have you tried saying sorry I can't chat I'm busy?

crazycrofter · 10/01/2020 12:53

Wear headphones? When they start speaking say that you can't hear them over the music - gives you a chance to explain that you're wearing headphones to help you focus? Maybe explain it as a New Years resolution to get your work done early so you can leave early?

mcmen05 · 10/01/2020 12:57

Don't go in early then you have that time with family.
If your time is taken up chatting anyway bit off a waste of your time.
Can you take the work home with you.

iklboo · 10/01/2020 13:08

'Ah but look on the bright side. You could be married to Piers Morgan with Katie Hopkins as your next door neighbour'.

managedmis · 10/01/2020 13:10

Close the door? Put headphones on and wave your finger and shake your head when they approach?

How fucking difficult can it be?!

ShirleyPhallus · 10/01/2020 13:12

Have your office number on speed dial on your mobile. When they come over, 5 seconds in call yourself.

Works like a charm

EvenMoreFuriousVexation · 10/01/2020 13:17

If one of your female pupils confided in you that she was struggling with this exact scenario, what would you advise her to do?

HollowTalk · 10/01/2020 13:22

I would tell them that I had work to do for first lesson and had come in for a bit of peace. You might need to be quite sharp with the woman about that. You could say, "I was feeling OK until you came in - you're depressing me" and "Overwork is the reason I'm here at 7 am - that's why I need some peace."

Is there anywhere else you could work at that time in the morning?

HollowTalk · 10/01/2020 13:22

I meant like a classroom or the library at school.

redexpat · 10/01/2020 13:39

X is this something really urgent because Im actually really busy and I need to get on. I' ll catch you at lunchtime.

Useful22 · 10/01/2020 13:46

Sign on desk.....DO NOT DISTURB, anyone who does ignore and point at sign

letmeinthroughyourwindow · 10/01/2020 16:26

It is quite hard to say no to a chatty colleague but I fear that you will just have to bite the bullet op. There is really no alternative to 'I don't mean to be rude, but I really must get on, can I catch up with you later?' Then don't.

HollowTalk · 10/01/2020 17:20

Sorry, just seen that they are coming into your classroom to disturb you. I was thinking you were all in the staffroom (remembering people like that from when I was at work.)

That's really terrible that they're disturbing you. Obviously you're only there so early because you want to work. Would it help to lock the door?

Sunflowersok · 10/01/2020 19:49

It seems like you need to be honest with them here Op. I totally understand getting in to work early rather than taking work home.

Bite the bullet and tell them, if they take it in a rude way we’ll that’s on them, not you. Good luck!

category12 · 10/01/2020 20:05

You will have to be assertive and direct.

"Hi [moany lady] I'm afraid I haven't got time for a chat this morning, I've got lots to do. [optional] We can catch up at lunch if you like?"

"Hi [autistic man] I'm afraid I need this time to get lessons ready on my own, [optional] we can chat later."

If necessary, get up and steer them out the door, and close.

category12 · 10/01/2020 20:34

With them on the other side, natch. Grin

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