Flirting or cheating partner?!

[3crazymumma]

Hi everyone, just in need off a bit off advice really. Has anyone had a cheating partner and stayed and it worked out?

Let me explain! ;
Well I recently found out for the past year my partner has been messaging a friend off mine, very flirty. Hid all the texts and lyed about talking to anyone. He complentened her through text everytimw he saw her out. Would ask to see photos off her and spoke about going to hers while I wasn't about. She was very blunt and didn't reply to alot off what he sayed! (thank god) but she didn't tell me? He says if was because he wanted to be close friends with her like I was but there was alot off inappropriate intentions which what he was doing and going about it.
It batheles me how can he be messaging her almost every day for a year even if she hardly replayed he really tryed to get her attention... If I didn't notice would it off wnet on thurther the thought makes me sick. How far would he off taken it if she said yes to him going over her house behind my back!!
It's been 2 months and I know he's truly sorry and is making up for what has happened.
I can't seem to get over what's happend. It hurts and I'm soo paranoid now about what he does and who he talks too because he hid it and lyed for so long.
I don't know if I can get past it or if there are any tips to help me or my partner..

Any advice is welcome! Honestly I just feel broken, I'm 12 weeks pregnant too as its not helping the situation.
We didn't find out I was pregnant till a week after i found out about him messing about.
Please anything on what to do or how you managed to over come a situation like this will help!
(I know alot have it worse have had a previous partner sleep with a ex friend in the past) it's brought up alot and I'm so scared if it will happend again or should I leave
.. please help!

It will happen again and yes, you should leave.
He's an untrustworthy piece of shit.
Coming on your friend!
That is fucking low.
If she had said yes to him coming round, he would have shagged her.
You know that though!
Do you really want to be tied to this twat for the rest of your life?
Really think about your future now!

Well I'm sorry but my short answer would be advising youleave him. He wants to be close friends with her like you are? Ask him if that's that how he tries to make friends with men too? No? thought not. Being pregnant makes it hard I know, but really, you would be saving yourself a lifetime of misery by getting rid of him now, he'll only hurt you over and again. I would make a fresh start for you and your baby, I'm really sorry and I truly hope you find happiness away from him

Also PLEASE don't be fooled by the I'm sorry act, noone hurts their partners by accident, he knew what he was doing, and he chose to carry on, only stopping when you found out. That is not the action of someone regretting what they did

I’m really really sorry to say this when you’re pregnant but he only stopped because she refused him. He didn’t cheat - but only because she rejected him. He tried and tried to cheat. And with your friend too Do you really believe he is so very sorry? Because I’m not sure I would. Do you really think he won’t do it again? Because - I’m sorry OP - but I think he will. If he’s brazen enough to try to cheat with your friends then I hate to think what he might be up to with strangers. Again, sorry. I know this isn’t what you want to hear. But it might be best to try to move on now, before the baby arrives, and not get stuck with this wanker and have to deal with a baby and a lying, cheating partner.

Honestly it all the stings soo much! We was planning to get married 2 years from now. He was everything I wanted in a partner. He still is and I know Im stupid for saying so after what he's done. But he is what I still want and I'm stuck as I know deep down he will again and maybe go even thurther.
It's all so fresh still 😭

Thank you all for your advice, I really do appreciate it and it has confirmed that it wasn't just me being paranoid or over thinking about it all ❤️

I promise you, he will do it again. He's spent an entire year chasing another woman (and it's even worse that she's your friend) and she's probably not the only one he's been chasing. He doesn't care about you or your feelings, and once this "I'm sorry" act wears off, he'll be out chasing someone else. Leopards like him don't change their spots. Was he with someone when you two started flirting with/liking each other?

I'd 100% be prepared to do this pregnancy alone because this will all end in tears: your tears.

I was the same with my ex - he was the man of my dreams, fell deeply in love. Turns out he was cheating on me when we just got together and after having his baby. He's now with the OW but I can see he still loves me, and no doubt he'll be having eyes for many other women whilst he's in this relationship. He can't help himself and by the sound of things, neither can yours.

OP

If you dont leave him you are lining yourself up for utter misery. Dont do it.

It hurts like hell...course it does...but it wont hurt forever trust me. Dont live like this. Its soul destroying.

@Upso I know he can but he won't. Well, unless he has a porn addiction - those addicts become obsessed with every hot woman they see or meet. Never again will I put myself through that!

I think you're looking at him the wrong way. You say that in every other way he is everything you want in a man, but how can someone who has lied to you for a year be a man that is good for you, in any way? How will you ever trust him again?

He's a twat. Of course, if you let him off the hook, he'll do it again (and he probably will go further) because he knows you'll let him get away with it.

Ditch him. It's easier being a single parent than it is being in a 'relationship' with an absolutely scumbag who cares not one iota for you.
It hurts, but it'll hurt even more if you allow him to keep trampling all over you.