Does it count as real life???

[Laurry]

Together 20 years, feel so lonely as he is never off his phone then find out tonight he has been writing to some other woman online

she asked how are things with the missus which makes me think he has said something before or why would she ask

He replied that things were rocky between us, broke my heart to read it but now just feel so angry.........he is now pissed off with me, just hoping for a bit of outside perspective.....am I right to feel hurt or is it fine for him to be doing this (been talking to her for the last month) he said it's fine as it's not real life yet it really hurts that he would do this

HE'S pissed off? Are you kidding me?

Presumably this woman is actually a living breathing human being ? If so, then she EXISTS and yes of course its REAL LIFE!!

Totally out of order and unless this type of thing is ok in your relationship then I'd give him hell.

Yes it is real life this woman is real my dp use to talk to women on sites until I found out and we very nearly split up it's disrespectful / digrading / and so hurtfull I know how your feeling I have been there you are so much better then to deserve this please nip it in the bid if he keeps dismissing you kick him out wishing you luck

You’re under reacting. He’s betraying you, sniffing around other women, telling them your relationship is beyond repair - he’s looking for sex and attention from other people.

And now he’s trying to turn it on you - he’s a wanker OP. You’d be better off without someone so pathetic, so devoid of ethics or loyalty.

Not a chance!! He’s gaslighting you! He IS at fault!

Thanks everyone, was really starting to think it was me over reacting

Yep, he's being inappropriate discussing your relationship with another woman. Prepare to find out more along the line. He's definitely gaslighting you. Been there myself and no longer with him.

he is now pissed off with me
WTAF?
This is the worst bit.
HE is carrying on an emotional affair with OW and he's pissed off at YOU!
WOW - that really does take the biscuit.
Passing this blame to you!? No way!
I'm assuming you have DC?
If so then this stops right now. If he won't agree to that then you know SHE is his priority now and not you.
I'd do some more digging as well.
This is not a one off.

He has no respect for you.

He is cheating on you.

Why would you stay with someone whom thinks that it is ok to treat you in this way?

Unfortunately it seems a common occurrence that men don't class emotional affairs as cheating.
In their mind as long as they've not slept with them, they've done nothing wrong.
Thread after thread on here highlighting the difference of opinion between men and women.

Thanks for all the advice, was what I thought but just wanted a second opinion that I wasnt wrong to be upset

He suffers from depression and started to say me getting on at him about this was bringing him down, scared of tipping him over the edge so feel like my hands are tied

He's starting with emotional blackmail.

What are you getting from this relationship?

How is this your fault OP? It isn't!

He really is a sad little manipulator ist he?

My exH did this same crap. Same excuses. Blamed me. They're just friends. I'm being controlling. He's depressed. Blah blah blah.

He's not depressed. He likes the attention and is hoping to get lucky with her. Oh my life doesn't understand me. We're having problems. I'm so sex starved.

What I wish I would have done is gave him one chance to stop it. He he didn't that would be the end.

But I didn't do that and it got worse and really hurt me. I had enough and divorced him.

The thing about disrespect is once they do it, it seldom gets better.

Oh bollocks. He’s just controlling you with his mood.

Dump.