Am I just being played

[truckstophere]

I have a spark with a man who I have known for years but am now Closer to over the last year.
He is in a relationship, I am not.
Lately He has been suggestive and trying
To engage me in sex talk. Not directly about me but about sex in general.
I think that his girlfriend does not know about our communication but knows we are friends.
When he stops the sex talk, the next day , he then tells me how close he is with his girlfriend and how he can't wait to see her that evening.
This is getting very regular but because he is involved with another girl,I do not engage but try to divert.I don't have the nerve to tell him to stop as it is ' innocent' because he doesn't direct his fantasies at me, just generally.They are never about her however.
What is he doing here?
I'm confused. Thanks.

I would start to slow contact with this man.

He doesnt respect you as a friend. He isnt your real friend.
He also is not a man you should be thinking of "getting with". He isnt trust worthy and doesnt respect his current girlfriend.

He is boundary pushing, thats all.

Step back.
He is unavailable.
No matter how close you guys are he has a girlfriend.
Stop engaging the sex chat.
No way does his gf know and he is carrying on like it.

He is either using you and your conversations with him as w*ing material, seeking an ego boost or testing the waters. None of these is flattering to either you or his girlfriend. Block / ignore all communication with him.

Nope nope nope.

He's a dick OP.

Don't you hate that he has his girlfriend there and just uses you for an ego boost and some flirtation?

Don't indulge him, say you don't speak to people who have girlfriends in that way and then disengage.

Done.

Ugh! I would block his arse, could not abide such crappy behaviour from a 'friend'.

Block him, he isn't your friend

Christ. Hes testing the waters with you I expect ...bit of sex talk....I bet if you responded back with encouragement he would take it further. You're not though, so he feels a bit stupid and so harps on about his gf to deflect. Very transparent and not a friend for gods sake . Step back or just tell him outright to stop discussing his sexual fantasies with you and discuss them with his gf instead.

He is engaging in sex chat with you and using this turn on to go and shag his gf

You're quite correct: you are being played.

He is treating you with utter contempt, just to amuse himself & get a cheap thrill, he knows you are ‘interested’ in him, he is using you to stroke his ego.

Have some self respect and block him.

He’s not your friend, and beware of saying things to yourself like ‘[we] have a spark’. This is the sort of thing people say to themselves when they are getting ready to give themselves permission to cheat or enable cheating. It’s inevitably a precursor to ‘it just happened’. That ‘spark’ feeling, that fizzy belly flutter, it’s actually your inner sense warning you that here’s a sleazy guy who will inevitably put you in an awkward position when he makes advances to you

Is he trying to date you? Is he asking you out? The answer to both of these questions is no so forget him. If you're single and wanting a relationship you should be busy with men who are actually trying to date you anything else is just spam

Ah I wouldn’t necessarily say that - i have several male friends i’ve known for years, none of them talk about sex to me tho.

He's a sleazy creep who is trying to manipulate you into being his back up shag. He has no other interest in you and he definitely isn't your friend.

Yes you are being played. He’s a dick. You are at least naive. Don’t be confused. He’s a dick and playing you.

I've taken the evening to read and reread your replies thanks.
The response has been overwhelming and I have to agree and I feel really pissed off right now. How dare he!!!
His lovely girlfriend is quiet and reserved and kind and I know that she would be disgusted and very hurt by him.
I have lost so much respect for him and I'm
Wondering what type of person does he think I am!
Yes he is a creep and sleazy with no respect for me or for his girlfriend.
I feel that he is always trying to boast about his sexual prow ness with me as if to prove he is amazing in bed, which I don't care too much about tbh !
Yes there is a spark but by telling him
To fuck off should quench that very fast.
Fucker!!!!
I wondered why he was so insistent on telling me about how much he was looking forward to seeing her and spending time with her a day after he would send those messages. It makes sense now. I'm mad as hell.
Those messages were never directed at me personally but generally about what he'd like to do in bed etc so I guess in a round about way, they were directed at me, yes?