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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Implications of appointment with Women's Aid

4 replies

GilbertMarkham · 09/01/2020 13:45

Following on from a previous thread in which I said my partner, who was physically aggressive/violent about 15 years ago, had made me uncomfortable during a recent argument .. I've been trying to look into the Ins of outs of separating (what arrangements will.ve if we separate etc.) and found it difficult to get accurate info so I thought I would try Cab or WA for guidance. I rang WA first and an waiting in an appointment.

My question is - if I say that one if the main reasons for separation is that his behaviour made me uncomfortable, against the contact of that violence years ago, will they involve e.g. social services etc. because we have a child?

(For those who didn't see thread, he pushed/flung me and held me down during intense, escalating arguments about 15 yrs ago. We continued the relationship for another 5 yrs after the incidents, finished for almost 3 yrs, and then got back together about 7 years ago. There was no repeat during these periods but I felt be was becomjng physically intimidating during a recent argument. We do not argue often but it has made me v uncomfortable and made me think about my decisions 15 and 7 yes ago.

Aside from that our relationship has been suffering stress of new baby/toddler, sleep deprivation and lack of sex drive (more me than him, the latter for years). My sex druve dropped away not long after we got back together and the times we ttc'd were initiated by me for that reason. Otherwise I wouldn't have, I admit. My sex drive has dropped away in every relationship I've been in after about six months (after the honeymoon phase I suppose).

Sorry, total tangent.

My main concern is social services getting involved by WA if I mention past violence,v my discomfort in the recent argument.

OP posts:
GilbertMarkham · 09/01/2020 13:46

*am waiting for an appointment.

OP posts:
bluebell34567 · 09/01/2020 13:52

i dont think ss will be involved right away.

Upso · 09/01/2020 13:55

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

May2020 · 09/01/2020 13:56

So you're worried about social services involvement yet have had a child/ children with a man you know to be intimidating and violent?

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