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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

He's not going to change, is he?

9 replies

vadam · 08/01/2020 22:23

I need to rant here because I'm so annoyed and I don't know how I can change this situation.

I've been with my boyfriend 5 years and lived with him for nearly 2 of them. His laziness is really starting to wear me down. I'm sick of doing everything in the house. He does the bare minimum, if that, and I have to moan at him numerous times just to do that. He makes me so angry. He's inconsiderate and selfish. I'm forever cleaning up after his mess but he does nothing for me in return.

I've had a long day at work today, very stressful and I've had a terrible headache since I got home. The kitchen was left in a mess, washing in the basket and there was a pile of laundry in the bedroom that needing putting away. Usually I do these things as soon as, so not to let it mount up but I am sick to death of doing it. Everything's finally got to me and I've just had a massive go at him as we were just going to bed. I asked him could he not just hang his T-shirt's up in the wardrobe. His response was "I only come in here to sleep". His argument was that he'd finished work late, made his tea and put the bins out so he wasn't doing it.

Please someone calm me down because I just feel like walking out. If it wasn't for DC then I would.

OP posts:
HollowTalk · 08/01/2020 22:26

Don't walk out - kick him out, the lazy bastard.

HotSince82 · 08/01/2020 22:29

Please do not have children with this person, he has no respect for you, your time or your home.

HotSince82 · 08/01/2020 22:29

Sorry, I see you have DC.

Kick him out.

category12 · 08/01/2020 22:30

Why are you with him?

Afterallthistime30 · 08/01/2020 22:32

I've just dumped a guy like this! Get rid. They never change and the resentment just builds and builds.

vadam · 08/01/2020 22:32

He said that I ask him to do things at silly times of the day. I've told him that unfortunately the world doesn't stop just because he's been at work all day. So has the majority of everyone else!

OP posts:
category12 · 08/01/2020 22:42

Here.

He's not going to change, is he?
vadam · 08/01/2020 22:45

@category12 Thanks, I might show him that!

OP posts:
Elieza · 08/01/2020 22:45

I think you’re right he is unlikely to change. Some people (In my experience men) don’t see washing needing attention, dust, crumbs on carpets etc.

If he did the things when they needed doing st times that suited him then you wouldn’t need to ask him to do stuff at silly times.

I had a guy like that. Not any more. Now the place is tidy and if it’s not it’s just my mess. Much better.

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