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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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4 replies

Belacan · 08/01/2020 15:04

Putting this on here to make myself accountable :(

DH and I have been struggling, for years. Lots of arguments and resentment. I find it very difficult to discuss even the simplest things with him. It got very bad after a horrible autumn half-term holiday, when he treated me quite badly in front of his family. I asked him to move out. He said to leave it until after Christmas, and I agreed. We have two children, 7 and 9.

Well. We had a surprisingly nice Christmas, and I felt like things were improving. Then today I asked him whether he would come to marriage counselling, so we could try to prevent recurrence of our problems. (Before Christmas I'd suggested it, he said he would consider, no mention after that.) He first brushed me off, then after I sent him an email suggesting specific times, and saying we could wait a few weeks until he's not so busy, he had a massive go at me. According to him, I'm ruining everything by having no faith in us, nagging, being controlling, not picking the right time, etc etc.

I am now in for many days of silent treatment and hostility, and there will be another big blow-up before any resolution is reached.

This isn't right, is it?

OP posts:
Shoxfordian · 08/01/2020 15:05

You know its not right
Tell him to move out and make some steps towards divorce

Belacan · 08/01/2020 16:06

Yes. Hard to do though, with someone who refuses to engage or listen.

But not impossible.

OP posts:
Shoxfordian · 08/01/2020 17:11

Nothing's impossible
Think how much happier you can be

madcatladyforever · 08/01/2020 17:13

get rid.

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