Hi, I posted here the other week about certain issues and was told I was correct etc, I don't want this to be outing and I don't know what I'm getting from this but anyway...
Coming upto 10 years together, married for 3,have 2 children. Not had an amazing marriage but there was always love and loyalty and no cheating! Over the years we were both young and husband was terrible at managing money, nothing like credit card debts but 18 grand car finance that he said was 10grand etc, moved on from that but there used to be gambling habits and his wage was never what I was supposed it be, naivly I'd just think he wasn't paid properly but now I know he must have just owed loads of money out to friends etc, we split for 6 months 2 years ago becuse his work went bad self employed, his wage wasn't what it was always meant to be and we were totally strained and completely poor!
We got back together and everything was great but some issues also over the years have been his lack of getting out of bed at the weekend, he always felt the need to have lie ins if there was annual leave or holidays coming up I'd know that he would need to schedule his days he needs to sleep, he works normal 8 hours day but does wake up around half 6,this used to frustrate me asking him to get out of bed for 9 years, he wouldn't be totally unfair but he was hard to get up. He's quite selfish. Anyway we moved into his mums house a couple of months back to save for a deposit for a house and we have always had problems etc with money based on him lying and he's also had a disgusting weed problem which I cannot stand and this has caused him to get in a mess with money and lie again to me and him always feeling he needs to lie as he is worried of telling me the truth, he speaks to me bad in arguments but I'm no angel I admit I told him the last time that if he spoke to me disgusting infront of our kids I would leave. So last Friday I found out another lie it's pathetic it was small but ihae put. With so many lies and then I took my rings off something tat really hurts him I know I ws wrong and he called me a bitch infront of our 5 year old, and chucked my ring at me and I asked him to not light his fag on the cooker something I hate and he coxkiky smiled and blew it at me so I grabbed the kids and left!
I'm now at my mums with 2 children sleeping on an airbed, with no home, no marriage, I can't get any universal credits help as I'm at my mums, god knows how long the housing list takes, private renting is ridiculously expensive and I also work part time and have noone to get the kids from school as his parent sused to get them but he does want to ask them after everything they have done for us and gave their house up for us it was one room!
Anyway we always get back together, I love him so much and he loves me but obviously I can't put up with lies it's tok it's toll and we said I've done this by taking my rings off and leaving, even though I should be the one to be in a position of choice and don't even know if I want to be with him I the one who has been sobbing for 5 days and feel like I am being left! He says he knows he's lied over the years etc but it's better for the kids to split up etc but deep down I just want to snap my fingers and all be a family again, the poor kids having us split up they love their dad and he has said he loves me still but every message he digs the knife in dropping in how we have split up and all his mature plans he's putting into place! I'm devastated, my family think he is just manipulating me and knows what he's doing but it really is over and I was considering even just staying with him and putting up with lies for the kids, they honestly wouldn't have known. I feel like I am 17,i cannot stop crying while he plays the mature grown up one, had he be missing me I don't even think I would still want to be in this I live him but not what he does!!! Sorry this is so long I don't know what I want! Can I just add I'm not a perfect wife, wasn't affectionate enough could have been smiler etc I suppose. My poor kids I can't beleive I am going through a divorce