Hi everyone, this is my first post and wanted to know if anyone started a relationship on a bad footing that got better and forgave the bad start?
Basically I met my BF 2 years ago, his wife had only just left him 3 weeks previously (I didn’t know this at the time). We got on amazingly, I felt so lucky to of met this amazing man, we clicked, talked for hours every night and it felt the best feeling ever but little did I know at the time his head was all over the place with his wife just leaving and he wasn’t actually ready for a relationship, I found out the date she left about 2 months in and it made me really insecure, they have children and he would go round for food and they got on really well. even tho she had left, I then felt like the other women as they clearly has unfinished business (before I realised when she left I thought it was really nice to show the children they can get on as I have very much the opposite relationship with my exh). I clearly was his rebound and felt that I was only around as he couldn’t be with his exw. But I was falling in love with him and he’s lovely so I thought the hurt would be worth it and that by being by his side he might appreciate it and may lead to a great life together and they had split up and I didn’t want my insecurities to ruin what was actually pretty good with a man I had only known 2 months. he sat down one night, explaining he had been looking for a quick fix but met me (made clear from the off I was looking for a relationship and we didn’t sleep together for 6 weeks and he was happy to wait) and sent his head spinning he didn’t know what to do as he didn’t want to mess it up with me yet knew he wasn’t ready for a relationship but wanted to be with me and no one else but it was pretty exciting so I went with it, I had previously dated a lot and didn’t want to have to meet another one so decided with “Better the devil you know....”
Then it’s all got too much, we split up in Jan, he Got drunk that night and he then slept with someone else, a friend of a friend who had been lurking already who I had my suspicions about but apparently was only a friend (apparently because his head was all over the place and was so upset about us splitting up so wanted to feel wanted). I was so annoyed but also pleased as my gut instinct at this point was right about her. Anyway was didn’t speak for 2 months then decided to get back together in April.
So since April it’s been really good, better than I could ever ask for. We’ve had holidays just us and with the children, anything Iv asked for he will do, I can be and always have been myself around him, nothing is hidden. But I feel he didn’t treat me with respect in the beginning and that I may never actually forget or fully forgive him. He’s talking about buying a house together, getting married in a few years and our future together but even tho a year ago, that would of been magical, now it upsets me because that bubble had burst. Some days I’m on board with it others I’m quite happy with the holidays, weekends with the kids and our comfortable separate lives. We both have really good jobs and own our houses. I crave being in a full time relationship though and want to want to be married to someone again and not have the bad start hanging over me. I have days where I’m so in love with him I want to burst and others when something makes me think about it all when I detach myself and think oh well, it’s alright for now, don’t want to introduce my kids to anyone else and that I don’t want to date anyone else anyway
Is this relationship doomed or will I fully forgive and move on with him?