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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Friend has made things awkward

3 replies

TheresGotToBeMoreToLife · 07/01/2020 21:35

I have a friend at work. I'm 34 female, hes 48 male.

In 2018, we became friends. I'd just come back from maternity leave, (during which time I'd split up with my exhusband). He came into the office one day, asked if I was ok, I was emotional, burst into tears and told him about my upcoming divorce and we've been friends ever since.

It's been purely platonic and actually a very supportive friendship from both sides. He is also divorced and has confided in me about some sensitive things in his life (still in love with ex wife, some excessive drinking, his penchant for cross dressing). All fine.

Until a week or so ago. He told me via message that hes in love with me. I responded saying of course he wasnt, he didnt even really like people at all, and to stop messing about. It has made me cringe inwardly. I feel nothing but friendship for him, and certainly have no sexual feelings towards him whatsoever. I cringe either further when I think about the stuff I've told him about my husband, subsequent boyfriend, a fling I had etc . I had no idea how he felt and now feel so awkward.

We work together and I see him several times a day. I cant look him in the eye at all. More than anything I feel quite sad that I've lost my friend (as I knew him). How do we move on from this awkward situation?

OP posts:
HollowTalk · 07/01/2020 21:38

If you feel nothing but friendship for him, why were you so horrible to him?

TheresGotToBeMoreToLife · 07/01/2020 21:39

In the context of the conversation we were having at the time it was appropriate and certainly not horrible. We take the piss out of each other all the time and I thought he was still messing about.

OP posts:
heyday · 07/01/2020 22:25

You either have to pretty much ignore him now or try to talk to him and tell him that you really only want a friendship with him. See how he responds and then see if your friendship can be salvaged.

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