Couples Counselling

[Pumba3]

My husband and I have been experiencing some difficulties in our marriage and I’m keen to sort them out! Our arguments are becoming more and more vile, with each of us saying more and more hurtful things to each other! I’ve suggested counselling but my husband keeps saying that he doesn’t think it will do any good. His approach is to just to not argue and suck it up!! His attitude is that marriage counselling always ends in divorce, my approach is let’s find a way to get along better and if a third person can help us achieve that then why not!! It’s a bit of a loaded question but why do you think men seem reluctant to seek help with this sort of stuff, and is he right? X

My husband said that he didn’t think that counseling would work, he eventually went. It did work and he now sees a counselor on his own for his own issues. For us/him it absolutely works.

#notjustabrunette thank you, I don’t know if he is afraid of something but I’ve been by myself and it hasn’t improved our marriage. I’m hoping he will see the light! X

We had counselling because we couldn't find a solution to our issues that were failing to fix ourselves. We both agreed that it was worth the time and investment in 'us' to try and find solutions.

Whilst it was an emotionally exhausting experience, it was also very helpful and gave us both a better insight and understanding into each other's perspectives.

It allowed us to see outside our own personal bubbles and to more easily empathise and respect each others thoughts, feelings and way we went about expressing or not expressing these.

We are now in a much better place and hugely glad we made the commitment to each other and our marriage to improve things.

What I would say is that both people have to want to do it. I can imagine if one person is only going through the motions, it might not be successful.

Counselling with my husband was the best thing we ever did

As per poster above, it is mentally exhausting but definitely worth it.

I'd really recommend it. It helped us iron out a lot of things and made us both realize we were projecting and taking things out on the other. DH got a bit of a kick up the arse via the counsellor as well for his vague laziness.

Give it a go!

Thank you for sharing your experiences. I’m hoping Dh can see the worth in it once we start (we have our first session tonight) but he is already preparing himself for a confrontation ( I can tell the signs) despite me telling him it’s not a blame game but a way to tackle our inability to resolve conflict in a calm manner (that and the fact that he never listens 😉)

Also, did anyone find their first session really really tough? My dh is now barely speaking to me and he did most of the talking at the session!!!

OP, I found the first 3-4 sessions tough, and often we stood outside arguing before even going in!

#PPopsicle did you both want to go or was it more one sided? My husband is going because “it’s what you (meaning me) want”

We went for me initially, and then I requested he attend also to hear my side of things in a neutral/controlled environment where we couldn’t storm. Lots of begging I on my side but all worth it