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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Kissed a friend - now what?!

9 replies

KPenny · 07/01/2020 10:05

Hi all, just not sure what to do so would appreciate some advice!

About a year ago I got out of a pretty miserable relationship and decided to join a badminton group to help distract me. A few months in someone joined and we got on great. We'd walk back to the station together chatting and then we started meeting up a couple of times a month on weekends to play. I'd asked her out for dinner once or twice about 5 months ago but she said it would just be as friends.

In December we arranged to go out for dinner as a little christmas party, I had a great time but nothing happened. She then contacted me a few days later and we arranged to meet up again.

That night was so much fun and I threw my fear aside and kissed her, the rest of the night was quite passionate, holding hands etc and I thought things looked on the up.

The next day we arranged to meet up that week but when i saw her things felt very awkward. She said she wasn't really sure what to do, that she still kind of saw me as a friend and was having a hard time getting her head around it. I just felt the best thing was to be straight and honest with her, I said I liked her, I'd really like to see where things go, that I'm happy to take things slow it that is what she'd prefer but it all she wanted was just to be friends I was rather she was just honest with me. She said she didn't really know and couldn't really answer that right now.

We left and I said it would be nice to see her for dinner this week, to let me know if she was free one evening and I gave her a hug goodbye.

I've not contacted her since (happened 2 days ago) and was thinking the best thing to do was to give her space and let her contact me. She knows how I feel and I've said I'd like to see her this week.

Just confused, the night we kissed we talked about loads of things we could do together, it felt like a real thing.

Any advice?

OP posts:
vivariumvivariumsvivaria · 07/01/2020 10:12

I'd listen to what she has said - she's not that into you.

Sorry, it's hard, I know.

sofato5miles · 07/01/2020 10:55

Wait it out, are you still playing badminton?

KPenny · 07/01/2020 11:38

I kind of feel that's the case but I did ask her a couple of times if she didn't see me as more than a friend then that's ok, I'd understand, I would rather she was just honest with me. She didn't seem to know either way and said she couldn't answer that at the moment.

When we kissed the rest of the night was so passionate, there where a couple of times she came over and kissed me.

OP posts:
FramingDevice · 07/01/2020 11:42

You keep using the word ‘passionate’, but then you say it involved handholding and occasional kisses? Are you sure you’re not over-interpreting the situation? It sounds fairly clear that she’s not really attracted to you sexually.

Musti · 07/01/2020 11:49

Are you a man?

ChristmasSweet · 07/01/2020 12:15

Move on. She isn't interested, she's just wary of upsetting you. She wants to be friends only.

YappityYapYap · 07/01/2020 12:18

Are you male or female? I ask this because if you are female and she is straight, this might be rather confusing for her

KPenny · 07/01/2020 12:22

I'm male, I tend to agree with all of you

Maybe she just got caught up in the moment and after a few days has had 2nd thoughts.

OP posts:
Musti · 07/01/2020 13:37

You sound lovely op and been respectful and appropriate. She knows how you feel, so just leave it and continue as friends unless she has second thoughts.

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