I’m bad at finding good ones, is this a red flag?

[PriteApple]

First date he told me he’d been in a relationship for 18 months. After 15 months he moved in. Then she broke up with him. I asked what happened and he said she thought he was too laid back and not bothered about the relationship. He then said she never kept her house today and didn’t know how to cook so it wasn’t great living there anyway. He’s 37.

I would investingate, but sounds like he was looking for a free ride from her; expecting her to provide a nice home for both of them.

He has his own place. Apparently she wanted him to move to him rather than other way round

First date and he tells you this? Nah. I had one of those. He later said he was 'old fashioned'. He was sexist. I'd not see him again.

To be fair I asked about last relationship although we were talking about a topic that related to when people move in. It was lighthearted and felt like a natural comment for him to move onto

Just thought the moving out after three months was a bit extreme ?!

Did you ask if her not tidying or cooking meant it didn’t get done or if it meant he did it all? Because the answer to that is probably quite instructive!!

If he expected her to do it because she’s a woman I’d be cautious, but if he moved in, realised she’s never bothered with housework or meals so expected him to do it all - then I’d be less so.

Too laid back means he was a lazy shit who did nothing around the house.
Anyone can cook. She was probably fed up of doing everything and wanted him to cook.
Doesn't sound good but it depends what you want really.

Far too much info for a first date, so yes I would say a red flag!

He wants a free housekeeper not a partner.

So basically on a first date he complains his last relationship didn't work because she didn't clean THEIR house. And couldn't cook.

F*ck me, run for the hills.

Hmmm I’m not sure 🤔 TBH it might not be a red flag, I’d say more an amber one and to look out for any other signs.
Like, if his current house is a tip, then yes relaxed means a lazy ass! But there’s Exes I couldn’t live with because I found them too highly strung and so I guess they might call me too relaxed?

No I think he meant he was too relaxed in approach to the relationship!

And it was an appropriate topic at the time so not worried about him bringing it up. Just thought it was quite fast for someone to ask him to move out!

Not being able to cook age 37 is a bit weird.

So perhaps see how often he instigates dates, makes an effort etc.
Many people split up after moving in, marriage etc as you do see a different side to the person however it doesn’t necessarily mean he’s a bad un

He moved in but it wasn't tidy enough so he moved out? Wow. Hope you keep your house pristine

Red flag

Ditch him, he expects a maid, not a life partner!

Depends.

I've a friend who is a complete sloven. Her partner of 20 years refuses to live with her because of it and they live in seperate houses......must admit I'm no neat freak but even I feel itchy when I walk out the place. She doesn't see the issue tho !

If he's very houseproud I can see how living with a slob wouldn't be for him. It does all sound a bit full on tho

Not sure he meant it in the way that he expected her to cook etc.

I thought 3 months was very soon to call it a day though...

Why is 3 months soon to call it a day if the relationship wasn’t working?

If you like him see him again and try and find out more. Sometimes you don't see what someone is really like until you live with them. You will also be able to see how he keeps his house for yourself and be able to judge better then.