Have I lost my chance of a family? Feeling conflicted and sad.

[PriteApple]

I’m 34 and have been dating since I was 30. I’ve dated lots of men, few false starts, few 4 month things.

Very independent (don’t feel like I NEED anyone for anything). Go on holidays, buy myself nice clothes, enjoy work. Basically I think I am doing the right thing to meet someone.

But I just haven’t. And I feel like now my time is up.

Guess I’m asking to hear from those who found someone after a LOT of dates or after waiting many years to find the one who was right for you. Feeling quite low.

I mean I’ve been dating since I was 30, so four years, after a three year relationship ended. I was in another three year relationship before then too. Maybe I’m just too old now to find anything new.

What is ending the relationships? Is it you making the decisions or them?

Always me who ends it, except the more recent person. But generally it’s me. I don’t think I’m hugely picky, I date all kinds of people. I just haven’t felt that pull, even after a few dates or few weeks or even months.

Maybe you are giving them too long and wasting time in your quest to find someone.

I think a lot is down to luck. Keep plugging away. I always think going for someone you have a spark with is key because in relationships you can work with most things but spark is everything. I think there is an element of settling when time is ticking and wrong choices are made. If you don’t really feel it after 2/3 dates I wouldn’t pursue it any further. Maybe change something in your life? Job, routine, hobbies. You never know.

I just feel I’ve missed the boat. It makes me feel physically sick and I sometimes wake up in the night about it.

Despite that, I can’t fake it and so I just stop pursuing things when I’m not feeling it, even if they are really keen.

I feel so sad.

I love my job and my routine and my life. I don’t really want to move. I would jf it guaranteed love. But I don’t think I would move just in search of it. Seems extreme when I love my life where I am.

No for me it’s the partner side to it as well. Just don’t think I will ever find it now.

I met someone when I was 39 and had a baby at 43.
Not ideal but stuff happens when it happens.

How long were you looking? Xx

I met DH when I was 35, nearly 36, and we now have a 3 month old DS. I thought it was too late as well, then there he was!

I'm now 39.

I can’t see it happening at all. Everyone my age is settled with a family already.

Some of my friends have kids in their early 20s yet I've only just had my first, and I'm older than you. I was with my ex for 12 years and when we split up I thought I'd never meet someone else, it's not too late.

It's not a race, it could take years more to meet someone. My partner is late 40s, I'm early 40s but cannot have more DC, but he is active in helping with my DC and we are forming a family group.

It's not too late. Not at all. I know a number of people who got together in their late 30s and had kids. I myself just had baby number 3 at 39.

It sounds like you have a busy, full life. Keep doing what you are doing.

You probably have another 3-4 years to spare. Have a baby with someone who seems decent? You don’t have to be in love with him or stay with him long term.

I met my husband at 35 after a decade of shit times with men, got married at 36 and had a baby at 41.
You are not too old, don’t be dramatic. You are doing the right things, just keep going.

I met my DP when I was 38. We had our first child when I was 40 and our second when I was 43.

I spent four years online dating and speed dating. After going on loads of dates with completely unsuitable, strange and weird men I decided to give up looking and just enjoy life as a single person. It was after I gave up looking and decided to accept that I was going to be single forever that I met my partner completely out of the blue one day at work.