Is this a bad situation?

[BiscoffLover]

NC. Been with him just over a year. So many good times but also a lot of bad. He really struggles with trust. I get asked a lot of ridiculous questions and feel stressed out a lot. He wants/needs to be around me a lot and struggles to leave me alone. But when things are good they are really good. I'm so undecided what the right and best thing are to do. Part of me knows I should end it but I know it'll kill me too.
When someone shows you who they are, believe them. Why do I struggle to get this in my head when I know what he does is wrong.

I just don't know what to do next. I've asked for space but it's like a losing battle.

Come on OP. You know this is all sorts of wrong and not a good relationship at all. He won't let you have any boundaries, is obsessively jealous, and has done a complete mind fuck on you. It is only a year - it won't kill you. Seriously. people lose the love of their lives after 50 years of happy marriage and it doesn't kill them. That you would say this is just evidence of how he has manipulated you and fucked with you. Jealousy is never a good trait - ever.

I agree with previous posters. Don't engage. Change the locks, put his stuff in a bag and text him "this isn't working it is over" and then block. the minute you talk to him you are back in the dance.

And you should read Gavin de Becker's the gift of fear. It talks about men like him - engagement with them is their meat and drink.

Did you get your key back?

If not wait until next time he is out and get a locksmith round.

Or

Do you actually have someone who can "oversee" that he leaves your property?

Listen to your feelings here. If this was good you'd be feeling good, full of life and hope and excitement. You don't, you feel alone. Decide on a safe way to get out of it, and find yourself again, I think.

I've just managed to get the key back. Was not easy. I told him last night and that point he said he'd do anything to make it work. Then this morning when I've reminded him about the key he said he forgot and apparently it makes me look bad like I've got something to hide by asking for it back! I broke down last night at the thought of him being my future. I told him I can't continue like this.

You've got the key but has he gone? Get him out, pack up his stuff and get it out as well. You cannot think straight with him there. You know you don't want to be in this relationship.
Lots of support here for you to help you be strong and stay strong.

Yes he's gone to work now.

@pallisers have purchased the book it should arrive in the next few days. Thanks for the suggestion.

Stay strong - you are doing the right thing, you can't stay in such a poisonous relationship. Hugs

Dear god - get him out and don’t look back. You’re better than this and you can and must extract yourself and move on.

Sweetie, don't let him back in after work. Put his stuff on the doorstep, get a friend around and get him gone. You know you don't want him. Don't sacrifice yourself. I know it's hard, but this is the beginning of the end, then the beginning of your happy future.

If he starts to harass you or makes you feel intimidated, anxious, scared phone the police. Let them deal with him.

Block him from all communication channels, tighten up your social media incase he tries to contact your family or friends.

Do not let him back in to your life AT ALL.

Get thee self on the freedom programme, so that you can understand and avoid abusive controlling cunts like him in future.

You commented on my thread about a similar situation yesterday. I replied but think I messed up with tagging you in it. Just wanted to say how brilliant and brave you are. Will be channelling this at the weekend when I do the same.

And that book is amazing btw. It really helped me untangle my thoughts and see what he was really doing. It's when you stop giving them the benefit of the doubt and see them for who they are that you start gaining power.

Pack up his stuff and put it out for him to collect after work. Do not let him back in.

I would change the locks. Chances are he’s had a key cut that you don’t know about.

I agree with changing the locks if possible.