Message or continue to ignore?

[PumpkinP]

I’ve posted about my ex on here before.

Basic back ground is we have 4 children together
Ex left me when I was pregnant with the youngest and decided he wanted no contact at all. He left me alone to raise 4 children with no family help either. He didn’t see any of them for 2 and a half years and then randomly contacted me asking for contact. I was very reluctant for obvious reasons but due to having no family and life being obviously tough (he doesn’t pay maintenance either) after a lot of consideration I decided to let him see them again. He saw them ONCE after all that time and then told me he actually didn’t want to see them again! This led into an argument where he said he will never see them again, he will never step up or take any responsibility for them, that I “tricked” him into having them. all four was me “tricking” him apparently. And that he never wants me to contact him again unless it’s an emergency, and then he will “help”.

Well after that I blocked him on WhatsApp and Obviously decided I would never contact him again, emergency or otherwise.

Anyway This was back in June. In October it was my birthday and he sent a message saying happy birthday. I thought it was odd but ignored it. Then in December he sent me a message saying he had put £200 in my account (small amount after not paying for almost 3 years!) again I ignore, he text the following day asking if I got his message and ofcourse I again ignored. This brings me to nye when he texted “happy new year to you and the kids” I was literally like wtf, this is a man who has told me never to contact him again . I didn’t reply and then he called me and I didn’t answer.

My plan was to just completely ignore him and never speak to him again but I’m wondering if I should send one last text to basically tell him never to contact me again? I didn’t want to ever speak to him again but I’m worried he might turn up at my house.

Could you say something like (I'm not good at phrasing) 'I've received the money towards your children's upkeep. You can set up a regular standing order. The amount should be about X a month.' Worth a go!

My sister said to do that but tbh I don’t want to due to some of the stuff he was saying, apparently I only had them for money! Despite the fact he wasn’t working when I met him! And when I’ve asked for maintenance in the past he said “you don’t have kids to get paid!” That’s why I’m tempted to close the case with cms.

He said he was tricked by you into having four children? And he thinks that show YOU in a negative light? 😂😂

Block him properly. Use YouTube if you're not sure how. Keep the CMS claim.

Practice some phrases in case he turns up. Like previous poster have mentioned

Eg I tricked you into having 4 kids? Unless you want to look like a total cretin I'd keep that line to yourself.

You only had kids for the money - well if that were the case I'd not have had them with you would I?

Give us some of his accusations and we'll enjoy working out the replies!

..he was saying I only had him for money! And when I’ve asked for maintenance in the past he said “you don’t have kids to get paid.”

OP, that is his attempt to manipulate you to back off so he can continue his deadbeat ways. Please don’t close your CMS case.

I don’t know, I feel like closing it as I’m not getting anything anyway and tbh I don’t want anything from him. Just going over the messages he sent and he said he doesn’t want to see them and I Need him to see them because it’s hard for me?! He said I tricked him and he takes no responsibility because I shouldn’t have kept them and that was my choice he really is a nasty piece of work. I don’t get any maintenance anyway and haven’t done in 3 years so I will probably just close it.