Forever alone

[Winterwonderland10]

It's been over 3 years now and I'm still single. Dated men in that time and all been disasters. I'm having counselling atm to work on me and I know my parents relationship has effected me in the sense that I'm copying it and picking familiar situations. So I normally end up with abusive men or men who have no respect.

I just want to find someone nice. I've changed so much from when I was with my DS dad. I'm much stronger, have better confidence. I don't stand for men disrespecting me and know my worth now. However I just feel I'm never going to meet anyone.

Tried OLD, most men are creeps or after one thing on their. I've been out with friends to concerts/pubs never end up striking up conversations. I'm pretty shy too which doesn't help so I wouldn't dare go up to someone first.

Atm I just feel a bit sad that I'm going through life without that special someone. Am I going to be forever alone? How can I bump my chances up of meeting someone?

I'm very single!! & 43.

I have started regularly attending a man-heavy gym at a hotel that has lots of conferences plus a sports bar & busy coffee shop.

The problem is that I'm 13 stone (dieting hard) & with my fine hair in a ponytail for workouts I don't look amazing.

I wear makeup but the other women there some of them are real gym bunny's plus have Botox, filled lips, hair extensions, etc etc.

I am blonde but the other blondes there look like Pamela Anderson except younger. Oh well.

A younger man did actually speak to me today though because I dropped a dumbbell, so he commented. I live in the South of England so it takes a lot for most local men to even say hello.

There is an older single dr at my work who I've known for years (hospital) who said he fancies me when he was drunk at our Xmas party, I'm attracted to him but not sure I'd want him as a boyfriend or partner for various reasons. I just don't like him enough maybe?

OLD is just scary. I feel too fat to do that right now.

I do agree re foreign men. A lot of them seem less shy & more likely to start a conversation than Brits.

It is really hard when you're a woman who's shy.

You are being so proactive about working on yourself and it will stand to you. Better off holding out for a good one, which may take some time but well worth it.

You should feel very proud of yourself for breaking the cycle of accepting abusers into your life.

The problem is the sort of men you want to give a try probably won't be really forward and flirty in real life, nor will they have really eye catching profiles on OLD. Going to the gym is a good idea in itself, but not really a good way to meet men.

@lily-jade don't compare yourself I'm sure you have so many great qualities about yourself that others don't.
I did go on a date with an American not long ago. It was a total disaster. 15 mins late, booked the wrong week for the meal. So had to find somewhere else to squeeze us in. He tried getting me drunk and mocked me when I only wanted 1 drink. Then when he was getting drunk He was getting arrogant and saying he likes to argue with people. Ugh it was just awful. So I haven't spoke to him again. Obviously not saying all Americans are this way.

Thank you @windmillwhirl it's been a very tough 5 years. But least I know now what I want and to have self respect.

@scott72 this is very true. I'm not great at flirting either. So to the guy it might just seem I'm being friendly and not flirty. I doubt they would ask someone out of their number if they weren't sure if they liked them back

I did a lot if work on myself following a difficult childhood and bad relationship choices. I'm now in a very happy relationship with a man who treats me like I'm the best thing since sliced bread (and I adore him too) oh, and we met online. There are good ones out there

@windmillwhirl that's a nice happy ending 😊 my sister met her DP on POF and they are now engaged and have a child together so I know it's possible but it's literally like a needle in a haystack

@Winterwonderland i met DP in a field in the middle of nowhere. We were both camping at event in the same club camp. He had no idea it was a camp for single people until he was already there..... long story short, there ass an incident with an inflatable sofa (this could out me massively) I ended up sitting on his knee and 3years 9 months later we're getting married in less than 6 months!

I had been on my own for almost 3 years with 3DCs under 10, and had is absolutely the best thing that ever happened for me.

Totally unexpected, wouldn't change him.for the world.
Hang in there.

PS i run that dating group on fb now, specific area of interest, but we have had lots of great matches!

@icanflyhigh that's a really cute story
Did you go alone to this camping event? I would go to this event in my city but literally none of my friends are single. Just me

Back in the day I went to all of the events on my own, met up with folk I knew from online there and generally had a really good time.
5 years ago I did 36 weekends on the bounce, in my little van with my dog! Different field, different city, a lot of the same faces.
The one where I met DP was santa pod racetrack in northants, and I'd never met him.before the sofa incident!
I had to really take myself out of my comfort zone to get there, but I'm so glad I did.

That's such a good story of how you met! Yea I do believe you need to push out of your comfort zone especially if you're actively looking and not getting anywhere. Funny thing happened today. I received a message from someone I went to school with. Haven't seen him in 10 years! He was in a long term relationship but they split months ago. So just chatting to him. He is coming across a bit needy however but I am extremely independent.

29? Cripes. You still have time. People meet in their 40/50s+, and that's still a long way off for you.

My overriding philosophy is that the only person you can truly trust is yourself. Sad, but true.

Agree but that doesn't mean there's any harm in reaching out and trying to connect with others but you should never lose yourself in the process or in trying to hold on to a relationship with someone who doesn't care or who isn't right for you

At 72 (male) I am just about giving up.Well educated,intelligent,solvent,lots of love to give.POF is a waste of time.Live near Ludlow.